Memoirs of a Geezer
Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!
This Episode: The Atheists' Picnic...
Every pivotal moment in life begins with an epiphany, a cathartic event. Is that the same as a revelation... I guess so?! Or maybe not, but sometimes fortune shines, or it doesn't. Depends on the individual, the objective and the specific overarching demon.
Like finding a $20 bill or a rare coin in the gutter on an overcast morning, a pleasant discovery can replace gloom with a nugget of hopefulness. In my / our GeezerHood, we found an exit, a means of escape from the vise of addiction, a program we could embrace. AA was not an option for us. We could not, would not surrender our personal responsibility to a "higher power," as if to announce to our weaknesses that we were powerless, thus permitted to drop back in a murky pond of toxic semi-consciousness, or blackout, each time the seductive lure of "spirits" beckoned.
There happened to be a chapter at a particular church, its own traditions or form of theocracy, its religious or spiritual concepts hitherto unknown to us, or at least not to me! The church symbolized by a Question Mark, not a cross, burning or mounted symbolically, or a star or thin towers with enclosures protected by parapets.
Had anyone ever heard of it before? That new and different method... I certainly hadn't. Secular Organization for Sobriety (SOS), a new idea, at least to us, an idea that proclaimed one's personal power over addiction. Extraordinary. For us it worked, as for many others, we soon discovered, to our satisfaction. Kindred spirits occupied chairs and tables, as opposed to the potable kind of spirits!
(SOS included a concept known as Rational Recovery; an excellent book described its process and its effectiveness for combatting addiction. Many in our group embraced its rationale and its well-reasoned path to sobriety.)
Nothing's perfect. We had to absorb a brand new paradigm. And we had to listen to a number of, in fact too many insipid "drunk-a-logues," as well as, admittedly, a number of fascinating tales of deep depression, hopelessness, ultimate victory over demons, abysmal failures as well.
One of our new SOS companions was a mynah bird with a broken echo in his beak. "I can drink pop; I can drink coffee and tea; I can drink lemonade..." as if repeatedly, each weekly meeting, attempting to convince himself that there was great joy in drinking non-alcoholic beverages. And each week we heard the same litany of soft drinks he could
actually ingest without becoming inebriated. We felt sorry for the chap. He was something of a bromide, indulging in a sort of self-hypnosis.
Another of our group members was addicted to booze and cannabis, his brain addled by his twin addition that occurred over too many years, too much, too many days and nights of anesthetizing himself with forbidden or damaging substances. His chatter was a stream of somewhat unconscious drivel, a prattle that often took a different direction, a new thread. Each time someone in the group ended a sentence with a particular word, that word sent him on an entirely different course of nonsense. Sad. Sometimes so sad it was, in a way, pitifully comic, if one could actually jump aboard his crazed train of illogic, if one could find humor in his convoluted monologues. We often did, while at the same time feeling badly for the poor chap.
One of our number called another of us an "amateur" in the hard-drinking culture. He once said, "I wish they'd invent a pill that would allow me to have just one or two drinks, and then stop!"
The woman responded, "I wouldn't take such a pill for the sake of one or two drinks. Not worth it."
"Then you're just an amateur..." That made her angry, and she shot back at him with a suitable reply.
"That kind of thinking is dangerously inappropriate for impressionable young people within ear shot. You're giving them an excuse to have a drink or two, as if they can do so without falling back into excess, deeper into addiction, diving back into alcohol abuse possibly without ever looking back!"
He was continuously after all of us to come to the Atheists' Picnic. He and his fellow converts and rabid proselytizers were frequently organizing Atheists' Picnics, reserving enormous swaths of parkland in and around the city. "We always serve nice food," he said, "and lots of stuff to drink... nothing alcoholic, of course, but yummy and fruity with vibrant colors, bubbly even..."
We were not swayed. We did not convert, possibly because some or many of us were already in that camp. For the two of us, we were content to practice our own form of religion or non-religion, or spirituality, or the lack thereof... No one's business but our own. I hasten to add that we respect and admire all forms of religion, not-religion, spirituality and non-spirituality (if there are such terms!)
Fearing the lack of alcoholic stimulants would kill our senses of humor, we once attended a multiple-addiction party, at which we were asked by our hostess not to tell her friends where we had met. Ignoring her, we kept inventing ridiculous therapy and support groups and sharing them loudly with her friends as they arrived at the party. One fellow entered, smiling broadly like a toothy dental commercial, and promptly dropped an entire platter of nuts. On our hands and knees recovering the precious salted, mixed nuts, I announced to the latest arrivals: "Oh, um... Beryl, yes... How we know her? We met at a fear-of-standing-erect at parties group..."
Possibly it's akin to riding a bicycle. Maybe you never really lose your sense of humor, or "sense of silly," even if they take away your booze, your stout and porter, your former reason for living, that of gleefully stumbling, belching and dribbling, assuming your daily role as the perennial buffoon in a galaxy of cocktail lounges and gin joints! (Oh, that was really funny... uh, wasn't it? Wha-did-dat guy say again?...)
Special Dedications: To theists and atheists and all who struggle with addiction and demons, but who do their darn-dest every day to combat the imps and devils that dwell within their / our minds, hearts and souls! Thank You, readers and devotees, for your kind consideration and indulgence, or at least your lack of scorn!!
Humbly Submitted 06-15-23 -- Joel K.
