Days of the "Cowboys"...

Memoirs of a Geezer

  

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!

This Episode:        Days of the "Cowboys"...

A random thought, a cliche...  He thought of stuffing a plug of tobacco into the empty pouch of his left facial cheek, just to appear more natural as an authentic chaps-wearing, gun-packin' cowhand!  But, he didn't like chewin' nor did he fancy six guns, or any other bullet-firing contrivance, for that matter.  Didn't have a plug of tobacco in any case.  (Gave up the "shootin' life" when he left military service!)  

Jack was a journalist, a writer.  He sometimes looks behind himself from the heights of GeezerHood and wonders if his memory is intact, accurate, correct...   Years past, he

lived in Cheyenne, Wyoming and his labors earned $75.00...  hmmm, was it per week, or once a month? Must have been per week.  Who could possibly live on $75 a month, even in 1969 and 1970!?
 

Jack worked for a daily newspaper, and often wrote for the morning daily's evening companion paper, and its combined Sunday edition.  He was young, often foolhardy and not terribly conscious of safe behavior or the needs of self-preservation.  Who the hell is at 25 or 26, or thereabouts, in the prime years of youth or early manhood?  

There were two colleagues, or associates, maybe, at the same newspapers.  One was the Sports Editor, the other the Staff Photographer.  The former had some difficulty with strong drink, spirits, alcoholic beverages.  The latter was ancient, maybe old as the geysers at Yellowstone, and magnificently nicotine stained.  Jack thought he resembled a totem made of seasoned wood, or a carved figure standing sentry at a main street cigar store.     

The sports editor sometimes did not appear for days.  The photo chap was often taken ill

or maybe, himself, stupified or overly stimulated by an excess of refreshment --  strong spirits, booze-glutted tumblers of rye whiskey, for example.  As a consequence of the aforementioned, Irving or Edgar -- Editor in Chief and Managing Editor, respectively -- would ask Jack to step in and fill the empty roles.  Jack was delighted to accept, and so he did on several occasions. 

A Cowboy Football Player from the
University of Wyoming, in Laramie

As fill-in sports editor, Jack would feature much of the sports section with appropriate local news (e.g.  Laramie's University or Wyoming Cowboys football squad), but some with stories close to his own heart -- copy featuring Midwestern sports teams -- a bit subjective, maybe selfish or self-absorbed, but no one ever seemed to complain.   

The other fill-in role, as erstwhile photographer, was far more exciting, fun and adventurous...  like a cavalry scout or a horse-mounted cowpoke herding and driving hundreds of head of cattle to a stockyard, or a bold and brave buckskin-clad hunter slaying and bringing home fresh game for denizens of the Wagon Train! 

Hmmm...  Maybe, Possibly...  Jack might have
concealed himself, for safety sake, in that
kind of barrel...  Might could be the 
actual one, come to think....  maybe...

At Cheyenne-based rodeos, as the "man with a camera," Jack would position himself if a padded barrel, pop up as required and shoot pictures of bronc riders, or steer ropers or chuck wagon racers or even bull riders!  It was a helluva hoot was for a cub reporter, an  occasional fill-in editor and photo journalist.   

These are the tales, the adventures and memories he liked to keep in his Psychic album for posterity, to relate to family members, relatives and friends...  Materializing occasionally, like specters that appear to the unsuspecting in old houses and haunted inns or English castles or mist-shrouded city streets on moonless nights.      

Whether people, the aforementioned, wish to believe it or not believe it, the tales were mostly true, if sometimes embellished or enlarged, like a retouched photo or a poster painted by the story-teller him or herself, possibly re-touched to include and suggest something larger or bolder than the thing or event of origin.

When the sports editor and photographer were at their respective desks or at the horseshoe-shaped table near or across from "the slot" occupied by the editor, Jack would return to the more mundane tasks of writing up the days news he had gathered on his rounds, his beat.  At a relatively small newspaper, a reporter would cover everything...  Police news, the State House

(Wyoming's capitol building), crime, fires, accidents, academic news, community services, federal happenings to which the state might have been affected or economically allied...  all of it and more, everything!   

On occasions of so-called "slow news days," Jack longed for the barrel or the sports desk, not always, but on those rare, spare news days, something itched.  Those times when the excitement of the dust-choked rodeo grounds and the hoof beats and the drama of cowpunchers being thrown from bucking broncos and huge, snorting bulls...  The sights and noise of rocketing chuck

wagons, racing round barrels....  When those images came to mind, Jack fell under a spell, a kind of irresistible beckoning, and let his thoughts, his attention and daydreams be lassoed, captured by a band of shadowy cowhands!   

*******************************************

"Ahem...  Jack..."  Edgar was an excellent managing editor, always quiet and composed.  But he never lost sight of the objective, get the paper out; do it professionally, and on time.  He was always, in Jack's view, an effective leader and manager of the reporters under his supervision.  Edgar coughed lightly and cleared his throat...    "Jack, snap out of it.  We have deadlines to meet."  

Humbly Submitted 03-17-2026...   by Joel K.  

      

    

    

Life on a Mississippi Houseboat!

 

Memoirs of a Geezer

  

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!

This Episode:          Life on a Mississippi Houseboat!

                     (Not an Entire Life...   A Brief Portion of It!...)

There was even a slide!... so if we chose to do so, we could immerse ourselves in the River, swim, or commune with fishes great and small!

Superb seamanship or Sea-Woman-ship -- an extraordinary skill, particularly noteworthy in the Age of Geezerhood!  "Hey, gang, why don't we book a trip on the Great River, you know, the Mississippi, crusin' on a houseboat!"

Our grand adventure began with that profound suggestion!!??   "Did I just hear correctly?  Did someone propose something exceptionally idiotic?"  

...Soon -- whether or not completely idiotic -- we were in a motor vehicle bound for Alma, Wisconsin, a rather small but handsome community perched on the Mississippi River, north of LaCrosse, WI, south of Red Wing, MN.  Once having arrived, we sought the marina of one Captain Jack and his flotilla of houseboats, each an aquatic dwelling, each an ark, happily, devoid of pairs of animals great and small!  

On board and touring the commodious interior, Captain Jack posed a question to the four of us, "Which of you wants to pilot the boat?"  We deferred to Rob, thinking he'd be the most capable skipper.  Rob has a vast knowledge of things, all kinds of things, including those mechanical, you know, sort of "clockwork" contrivances.  

"Watch out for wing dams," cautioned Captain Jack.  "Steer clear of them.  There are

I think that's us down there!

many on the river banks.  Also, when you moor the houseboat along river banks, because of the current, you'll have to 'crab' into your mooring points.  That means, not straight in, but left, then right, as if 'tacking' into or onto each bank, each mooring point." 

[Wing dams, for those of you interested and still reading -- as I'm certain you are! -- were built and positioned along the river banks by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.  The function of such dams is to maintain a channel for commercial barges by reducing sedimentation and dredging.  They also act as "fish magnets" for species such as walleye.  Fascinating, what?!!] 

Once trained or indoctrinated, Rob steered our floating home southward along the glorious Mississippi River, its current a fear-inducing force to behold.  He did well, and piloted the craft safely and efficiently.  

We were watching the bonfire
from afar.  Quite hot if too
close, you see!

As we began to lose light on our first night on the Great River, Rob guided the houseboat into an inlet.  Once anchored, we unloaded the food we brought along, and some kindling and logs, beach chairs as well.  The inlet included a waterway channel and sandy islands suitable for human respites and temporary habitation. 

We built and started an excellent bon fire, greeted and were greeted by fellow houseboaters, mostly young people, but some older, more seasoned mariners as well. 

That evening, we marveled at the enormous river tugs pushing "trains" of barges northward along the river, the lights of the tugs enhancing the stunning and truly

magnificent engines of commerce, like great illuminated river monsters moving smoothly and resolutely along the winding Mississippi corridor.  

Enjoying the pleasant evening and the sights and sounds along the river, one of our party burst into a baritone rendition of "Old Man River," the song enjoyed by our companions, all of whom pronounced the experience delightful, and appropriately adding to the setting and the overall adventure. 

Early in the evening of the following day, Rob artfully crabbed into an inviting looking bank of the river, just across from an enormous eagle's nest, but safely nestled between a couple of wing dams.  We all felt, and remarked upon it, that a party of four could book  a night's lodging in that huge nest.  It was really big!  I mean, really BIG!!!

In the middle of that night, we spied a gorgeously illuminated river tug pushing its queue

of barges!  Mesmerized, we watched until it cruised past our lines of vision.  Crawling 

Wish you could see the lights...  
Truly a  spectacular
 sight under the night time sky!

back to our beds -- the houseboat contained two comfortable bed chambers -- and once again blissfully unconscious, but only briefly, we were awakened by a mighty thump.  In the light of an early morning, we noticed a large tree limb protruding from the stern. 

It turned out to be an entire tree that had obviously fallen

into the river, floated along and decided to stop its 

southward progress by lodging itself under our vessel.  We

tried in vain to remove the beast, finally having to 

summon  Captain Jack and his motor launch.  

Jack was forced to loop a chain around the visible part

of the giant limb and haul the thing out from under. 

We made pals with this pair
but they didn't invite
us into their living quarters!  Odd!

May or may not be an authentic image
of Captain Jack, but probably really close!
 

Only then did we witness and marvel at the size of that entire tree.  We could never have removed it with our humble efforts...  Might have had to take up permanent residency had it not been for Captain Jack, his "first mate" and their effective exertions, along with the powerful motor of the launch! 

It may or may not have been during that same river / houseboat adventure that we witnessed

lots of bald eagles, some in an eagle sanctuary

 for wounded birds, based on the Minnesota

side of the Great River.  Beautiful sights, those

majestic eagles, whether in flight, diving for sustenance (river fish) or merely perched in trees scouting for a robust meal!  You've no doubt heard the expression, "Eagle Eyed"?  Of course you have!!

The four of us will surely never forget that extraordinary time we had houseboating on the Mississippi.  We departed with reluctance, but made our way homeward via the Great River Road, stopping off at Trempealeau -- still within sight of the River -- for a delicious feast.

Would we reprise that wonderful adventure?  Hell yes, but when?  That we'll have to figure out, when time and tide find us yearning for another great moment in the lives, times and legends of intrepid explorers!  Thank You!

(Special Note of Dedication:   For "Skipper" Rob, Mary (SweetHeart) and, in Memoriam, our Beloved and Wonderful friend and fellow mariner, Susie!  Too Soon departed, but always in our thoughts, in our hearts and in the fondest and very Best of our Memories.  Thank You!)       

   

An Appearance on the Bespoke Great British Baking Program...!

 

Memoirs of a Geezer

  

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!

Call if you Like Cake...  or maybe, 

perhaps, to wit, tend to honor 

This superb Posting, possibly (?) !!  

correspondence of Praise always welcome!!

This Episode:          An Appearance on the Bespoke 

                      Great British Baking Program...!

To begin...  I would appear under my "Baking Pseudonym," namely, Lord Eustace Von Bavarois, Lord Lieutenant (Leftenant, as pronounced by the British) of the Royal Borrachos, and 27th Earl of Blitheringdom!  I should insist upon being addressed as "Your Worship, Lord Bavarois," slight bows acknowledging my status and lofty position in life and in the monarchical realm! 

I would employ a valet, possibly a footman, to convey all of my baking impedimenta and paraphernalia; I would not demean or reduce myself or my exalted status by carrying to

An array of baking implements
and a blobby thing! 

my baking station the aforementioned.  I should insist upon occupying a front forward station, on the right side, with eastern breezes wafting gently through the adjacent tent flap.  Disagreeable odors would not be permitted to assault my olfactory gland by invading the tent opening intended solely for the aforementioned sweet breeze or breezes and maybe furtive glances at odd passersby...

I would happily interact socially and culturally with Susan and Mel, or with Noel and Sandy, but with no other vapid and vacuous alleged "comedic host."  I am nothing if not empathic, but there are standards that must be adhered to by persons of noble bearing!  

As to the so-called judges, I would accept the comments and constructive criticism of 

The Judges!

Prue, but I would very likely refuse to interact professionally, culturally or socially with the male member of the judging duo.  There are limits to one's tolerance and generosity of spirit.  And, he often talks mean and uses nasty words.  

When summoned to the various challenges -- Signature, Technical and StopShow-er...  I would of course refuse, in accordance with the Concordat of Beans 

(to which my EarlDom is a signatory) to engage in silly and meaningless bake challenges, such as Ibbie Skibbie, Konsikracker, Stoop Warffles, Pudding Sloppies, Gelatinous Slurppies (I hate those things!), Korkleflies, Soofles, Fig Warts, Spotted Dickies, StinkFarfels, Bloated Pig Dinkies, Mumblekaks or anything made using ink, of squid or fountain biro variety.  I will not concoct anything steamed, nor a baked thing sporting an unappetizing color.  I don't care much for green bakes or those made with eel.  

How many of you enthusiastic and rabid supporters and readers now engaged in perusing this piece of brilliant (sort of ) literature actually bake stuff?  I'd like a show of hands, please! Additionally, I'd prefer to see actual images of baked goods.  Those to be sent to the perpetrator of this writing via some form of secretive conveyance such as

I think the above image is of
a Stoop Warffle!

private courier, carrier duck, Beefeater in full Vatican livery, a private chauffeur, meaning, a large muscular beast with martial arts training in taekwondo, Kung Fu, Grappling and Greco-Roman Knuckle Lock.         

I suppose I might deign to interact with other contestants, if such contestants behave with dignity and deference.  I would not interact with whiny contestants who babble, such as that chap who guzzled milky drinks and complained of broken bowls and oven doors and used the word "put" far too frequently.  

I don't know what the hell
that thing is... But I recall
looking through something
of that appearance and
shape to view certain
pictures!  I was just 
an innocent child then!

I did enjoy some of the more Vintage Contestants, homely bakers who brought their own frilly aprons that they were not allowed to wear, owing to the mean-spirited regulations of pedantic organizers and production tyrants, cockalorums and petty snollygosters, or maybe even pillocks and oiks!!

Drat Them!   

Let me clarify...  Vintage Baking Contestants...  e.g.  Linda, Maggie, Jane, the guy who performed arm semaphore...  Norman, I think!  One of them should have prevailed.  Ageism, I suppose! 

 

I'm guessing the famous, revered and much vaunted, Lord Eustace Von Bavarois, too, might have been ousted or booted from the marquis (large tented property) because he would insist upon certain standards of behavior and various baked goods prohibitions and avoidances!  Thank You!   

(Special Note of Dedication and Appreciation:   To All who engage in the culinary arts, such as Baking, Recipe Theft, Cooking with Breda Greem, Devotion to the Galloping Gourmet and Treena, Julia, Emeril, Rachel, Jacques, Anthony and Kermit, Ayds, TafOn and Other Reducing Preparations, Pills, Ointments and Fat Removal procedures!

Humbly Submitted 01-09-2026 -- by Joel K.        

 

 

  

  

   

Do You Think We might Have a Little Chat?

 

Memoirs of a Geezer

  

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!

This Episode:       Do You Think We might Have a Little Chat?...

...I mean, why can't our nearest and dearest let us know how they're doing after they've passed into the sphere of the non-living?  C'mon, kids, speak!  How's tricks??!! 

I mean, does one need to organize a seance, for pity sake?  What the hell...  On the road home from plying our trade, that is, our work day having come to a successful conclusion (anyway...  a conclusion...), we're having a nice chin wag about our recently deceased dear friend, a lifelong friend of one of us, a cherished pal of more than 50 years for another of us.  Why the deuce aren't we permitted to hear from her??!!  H e l l o !!

I said, "We should maybe contact Miss Lemmon.  Ms. Bitten?  Leafy Anderson?  Madam Beasley?  Miss Lemmon's a recognized medium."  

Wake up, Miss Lemmon...
...The Seance?!  We need you!

A shame she's fictitious.  She appears in the Hercule Poirot series.  (I like to call him "Herky").  Probably Miss Lemmon wouldn't respond to our summons!  Would she reply if we were to hold a seance?  These are tricky questions!  (Are mediums listed in the phone book??)...

In GeezerHood, one has lots of dead chums, good ones.  We miss them, their thoughts, their sometimes wise counsel.   We should have a way to chat with them.  I mean...  why can't we?  I often have little chats with my dead animal pals!  Snickers...  Cody...  Sheldon the goldfish...   One-sided, sure, but I get psychic readings from their spirits...  I think!?  Do I?  Maybe so...  "What was that you said?......"

Wouldn't it be dandy to know what our dead pals are up to, where they are, where they're hanging out?  Wouldn't that be a comfort to us non-dead persons?  Knowing there's something swell waiting for us in the great beyond?  (I wonder who came up with that expression?)...  "The Great Beyond"!  Religious folk tell us there is such a place!  (I wonder where they keep it?)

Karl??  Is that YOU!  Speak to us!!
You seem to be missing
some body art!!??

They got bus service going there?  "Taxi!!...  The Great Beyond, and step on it!  Follow that cloud!!"

Death is a funny business, not humorous funny, but strange, like a dark mist with reclining chairs for an unspecified number of shadowy passengers.  A puff of green steam into which the former living are swallowed up and carried off.  What?  Upward, laterally, downward?  Or do they hover until their tickets are punched?  

We just lost a very dear friend.  Where did she go?  The body decays, of course, but where does the intellect go?  The Soul?  Where?  Does it or can it inhabit a new host being?  Animals?  A frog?  Newly minted humans?  Some people believe in multiple lives, reincarnation.  Must one wear a carnation on one's tunic or in one's lapel to indicate another chance at life?  I must start searching, looking at passers-by to see who's wearing carnations on their tunics or in their hair...   or perched on their ears, maybe?!

Let us all hold hands and start the seance...  We got a big enough table?  "Is that someone knocking?...  Miss Lemmon, Miss Lemmon!  Are you there?  Can they hear us??  Let them in...!"

(Special Note:   I find I now have amassed nearly 100,000 views via my humble postings!  I've been compensated for none!  Outrageous!  I was hoping to invest in a block of subordinated debentures!  Perhaps a mink stole like Miss Lemmon's!  Where the devil are my royalties??)  

(Special Note of Dedication:   For Miss Lemmon, Karl, Herky...  and for all of our most beloved and departed chums.  Wherever you are, I hope you can read this and maybe send us some notes...  Reincarnated speaking creatures as stand-ins are welcome!)

Submitted 12-02-2025...  By Joel K

  

  

 

 

Grandchildren -- The True Treasures of a Long and Distinguished Life in and out of GeezerHood!

 

Memoirs of a Geezer

  

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!

This Episode:            Grandchildren -- The True Treasures of a Long and 

                           Distinguished Life in and out of GeezerHood!!

Such a handsome lad.  Love the 
Colorful Shades!

There are of course -- in the sphere of building great relationships with grandchildren -- certain imperatives:   Abundant and Unconditional Love, Frequent and Well-Deserved Praise, Support, Positive Affirmations... Many and often...   That's how and what we do, and will continue to do; that is, to shower our much-loved grandkids with the most important gifts we can give them, the aforementioned... 

We -- SweetHeart and I -- are privileged to have our first-born, a film and musical phenomenon, in the mix; a brilliant athlete and soccer star; a cross-country and track star athlete and a champion tennis player, and soccer star athlete as well.  But their far more important attributes are the human ones -- their loving and generous personalities, their remarkable senses of humor, their friendship, their kindnesses, their absolutely delightful behavioral characteristics!

 We are fortunate beyond my poor, or anyone's ability to heap praise upon them, or to offer our profound gratitude to have them in our lives!!  I mean, yeah, we're very lucky.  (I'm guessing many grandparental folk feel the same...  Yes?...  Right?!...  Are you listening out there??!) 

A Great Star on and Off 
the Pitch, and Handsome
to Boot!

Such a Talented and
Graceful Runner.  
Shown above at a 
Cross Country Event

The gifts they've given us, like discovering a cache of uncut diamonds while digging in a garden plot, include outstanding films enhanced by original music scores along with opportunities to appear in said films, hours of sometimes sun-drenched or wind-chilled pleasure witnessing soccer (Euro-football) action on the pitch, not to mention a race to score 121 points round a circuitous (preferred!) and colorful track (cribbage).  

Racing in challenging terrain or round an oval course is another delight we have enjoyed thanks to a granddaughter who loves running, does so superbly, setting personal
records with nearly every event.  Making the State Meet as a result of her abilities and her prowess!  She is poetry in a track uniform.  

We never complain of cricks in our necks, pains or anxiety watching our youngest grandchild smack a tennis ball with skill and poise, optionally lobbing it just out of an opponent's reach.  She -- an excellent singles player -- and her team of both singles and doubles made the State Tournament and emerged triumphant.  She plays soccer as well, and does so quite well!

A Star Runner, both
Cross Country and
Track -- Relay
and 
Whatever They call
the Mile, 
These Days!
(1500 Meters?  
Metric Mile...?)
(What's LuLu Lookin' at?) 

She plays tennis, she
plays soccer, and 
she crochets
superbly as one
can readily
bear witness! 
Her Turtle Loves
Her Too!

    This is, of course an obvious additive,            perhaps one that's needless to add, but I        feel I must pay tribute to our                            extraordinary children, essentially to                thank them for the great pleasure of being    an Abuelo y Abuela! 

    We offer praise and gratitude to said     children for making such titles and     transformative variations possible!  They,     the grandchildren, are life's previous     gems, like sunshine, their faces are glorious   portraits...  I mean, overall, as the title     infers...      Treasures worthy to be installed     in the Prado or the Louvre or at least our       local art center...!   Don't argue with me!!  

I think I said that correctly, or conveyed properly what I think I meant to say!  Didn't I?  (I mean, of course, the "transformative variations" phrase??!!) 

Of course there were challenges in the early or formative years of those beloved grandkids.  Hauling them in the big red coaster wagon down, but then up the steep hill from a lakeside "raceway" to the top of that mountainous incline.  I dripped, was drenched and soaked in sweat as though I had accidentally wandered stupefied into a car wash without the car.  (I think I only did that once, but I may have been inebriated, or simply stunned by an errant golf ball!...  or was it a dropped brick in a construction site??!!)....  I can't readily recall...  But refreshing, the car wash, that is!!

Oh, and didn't we have a hoot throwing them into the air and letting then land squealing and laughing crazily on a queen mattress.  Making them manic and buzzed in the process, and exhausting ourselves as well.  Our children were not always thrilled with that outcome, meaning returning to them the half-crazed and wired grandkids of course.  Lots of sugary treats didn't help much!  But SweetHeart and I sure had fun in the process!

(Special Note of Dedication:   For Coen (Coey, Co Co), Sean (Seany), Lucy (LuLu) and Sophia (PhiPhi, Phia) who give us such joy, laughter, love and happy adventures!  Thank You!!)  

Submitted 11-13-2025 -- by Joel K