Memoirs of a Geezer
Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!
This Episode: Life on a Mississippi Houseboat!
(Not an Entire Life... A Brief Portion of It!...)
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| There was even a slide!... so if we chose to do so, we could immerse ourselves in the River, swim, or commune with fishes great and small! |
Superb seamanship or Sea-Woman-ship -- an extraordinary skill, particularly noteworthy in the Age of Geezerhood! "Hey, gang, why don't we book a trip on the Great River, you know, the Mississippi, crusin' on a houseboat!"
Our grand adventure began with that profound suggestion!!?? "Did I just hear correctly? Did someone propose something exceptionally idiotic?"
...Soon -- whether or not completely idiotic -- we were in a motor vehicle bound for Alma, Wisconsin, a rather small but handsome community perched on the Mississippi River, north of LaCrosse, WI, south of Red Wing, MN. Once having arrived, we sought the marina of one Captain Jack and his flotilla of houseboats, each an aquatic dwelling, each an ark, happily, devoid of pairs of animals great and small!
On board and touring the commodious interior, Captain Jack posed a question to the four of us, "Which of you wants to pilot the boat?" We deferred to Rob, thinking he'd be the most capable skipper. Rob has a vast knowledge of things, all kinds of things, including those mechanical, you know, sort of "clockwork" contrivances.
"Watch out for wing dams," cautioned Captain Jack. "Steer clear of them. There are
many on the river banks. Also, when you moor the houseboat along river banks, because of the current, you'll have to 'crab' into your mooring points. That means, not straight in, but left, then right, as if 'tacking' into or onto each bank, each mooring point."
| I think that's us down there! |
[Wing dams, for those of you interested and still reading -- as I'm certain you are! -- were built and positioned along the river banks by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. The function of such dams is to maintain a channel for commercial barges by reducing sedimentation and dredging. They also act as "fish magnets" for species such as walleye. Fascinating, what?!!]
Once trained or indoctrinated, Rob steered our floating home southward along the glorious Mississippi River, its current a fear-inducing force to behold. He did well, and piloted the craft safely and efficiently.
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| We were watching the bonfire from afar. Quite hot if too close, you see! |
We built and started an excellent bon fire, greeted and were greeted by fellow houseboaters, mostly young people, but some older, more seasoned mariners as well.
That evening, we marveled at the enormous river tugs pushing "trains" of barges northward along the river, the lights of the tugs enhancing the stunning and truly magnificent engines of commerce, like great illuminated river monsters moving smoothly and resolutely along the winding Mississippi corridor.
Enjoying the pleasant evening and the sights and sounds along the river, one of our party burst into a baritone rendition of "Old Man River," the song enjoyed by our companions, all of whom pronounced the experience delightful, and appropriately adding to the setting and the overall adventure.
Early in the evening of the following day, Rob artfully crabbed into an inviting looking bank of the river, just across from an enormous eagle's nest, but safely nestled between a couple of wing dams. We all felt, and remarked upon it, that a party of four could book a night's lodging in that huge nest. It was really big! I mean, really BIG!!!
of barges! Mesmerized, we watched until it cruised past our lines of vision. Crawling
back to our beds -- the houseboat contained two comfortable bed chambers -- and once again blissfully unconscious, but only briefly, we were awakened by a mighty thump. In the light of an early morning, we noticed a large tree limb protruding from the stern.
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| Wish you could see the lights... Truly a spectacular sight under the night time sky! |
It turned out to be an entire tree that had obviously fallen
into the river, floated along and decided to stop its
southward progress by lodging itself under our vessel. We
tried in vain to remove the beast, finally having to
summon Captain Jack and his motor launch.
Jack was forced to loop a chain around the visible part
of the giant limb and haul the thing out from under.
Only then did we witness and marvel at the size of that entire tree. We could never have removed it with our humble efforts... Might have had to take up permanent residency had it not been for Captain Jack, his "first mate" and their effective exertions, along with the powerful motor of the launch!
It may or may not have been during that same river / houseboat adventure that we witnessed
lots of bald eagles, some in an eagle sanctuary
for wounded birds, based on the Minnesota
side of the Great River. Beautiful sights, those
majestic eagles, whether in flight, diving for sustenance (river fish) or merely perched in trees scouting for a robust meal! You've no doubt heard the expression, "Eagle Eyed"? Of course you have!!
majestic eagles, whether in flight, diving for sustenance (river fish) or merely perched in trees scouting for a robust meal! You've no doubt heard the expression, "Eagle Eyed"? Of course you have!!
The four of us will surely never forget that extraordinary time we had houseboating on the Mississippi. We departed with reluctance, but made our way homeward via the Great River Road, stopping off at Trempealeau -- still within sight of the River -- for a delicious feast.
Would we reprise that wonderful adventure? Hell yes, but when? That we'll have to figure out, when time and tide find us yearning for another great moment in the lives, times and legends of intrepid explorers! Thank You!
(Special Note of Dedication: For "Skipper" Rob, Mary (SweetHeart) and, in Memoriam, our Beloved and Wonderful friend and fellow mariner, Susie! Too Soon departed, but always in our thoughts, in our hearts and in the fondest and very Best of our Memories. Thank You!)







