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Great Adventures in Literature -- Writing, Publishing and Promoting a Book!

Memoirs of a  Geezer! Reflections and Observations  -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth  ...

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Writing as an Obsession: Joyful, Agonizing, Necessary...!

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth 
to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!


This Episode:      Writing as an Obsession...   Joyful, Agonizing, Necessary...!



For those who love the act and the art of jotting words on paper, in journals or punching keys to turn x's and y's into thoughts on a computer screen, writing is a compulsion, at times joyful, at others agonizing!  But often, perhaps more accurately always, a kind of dominating obsession.

When I was a callow youth suffering through a Jesuit high school education, an English teacher told a friend of mind that he might consider writing as a career, at least an avocation.  He looked at me and said, "Writing is something you should never do!"  

Well, what the hell could I do with that condemnation, that bit of false, insulting and presumed lack of skill or talent?!  I had always loved to write, stories, bits of poetry, nonsense to give life to my margin drawings and amateurish cartoons.  I simply did not care to share that passion with my classmates and contemporaries, for twin fears of embarassment and failing to fit in with the popular crowd.  Or worse -- a high school curse -- being labeled "creative," non-athletic and bookish!  

My father, a career government employee, a special agent in the FBI, insisted that if I had any semblance of a brain in my head, I'd pursue a career in government or public service, a job that guaranteed a pension at the end of too many years of tedium.  Naturally, I ignored that sage advice.  I became a writer, a journalist, eventually a self-employed free-lance editor and co-publisher at various times...  and most of the time, a writer!  And though I've loved most every moment of it, my "brilliant career choice" did not produce financial security, or that pension plan my father tried so valiantly to place in my thoughts as I plodded into the future.  (My mother wanted a doctor in the family!  Both parents were disappointed!)

I joined the military out of high school, being a conflicted, angry, rebellious and undecided youth.  I did some writing during that period, including a bit of re-write and editing copy, even some on-air time, for the Armed Forces Radio Service.  Four years later, I was accepted into a university and pursued another four-year stint in that institution's College of Journalism.

Never one to forge a master plan with intellectual mettle stirred into the crucible, after graduation, having achieved a Bachelor of Arts degree, I hit the road. 

I landed first in Colorado where I worked for a regional newspaper.  The publisher also owned a Legion Post newspaper.  I became editor and chief reporter and writer for both.  I had a brief flirtation with a newspaper in the south-central mountains of Colorado, before accepting a job with a daily in Cheyenne, Wyoming.  While in that fine city, I also did some radio and television newscasting, a brief stint as a UPI stringer, all of it feeding my passion, and adding the great benefit of learning my chosen craft well, gaining experience.

Further west, in Seattle, Washington, I worked as a newscaster for both a radio and a television station, then traveled south before returning to my Milwaukee base, where I became editor and chief writer for the community's Model Cities' newspaper, prior to joining a public relations firm.  As a PR counsel, I wrote press releases that were published nearly verbatim -- false modesty aside -- in several major US newspapers, and in major trade magazines as well.  

It's in the blood, I suppose...  writing.  In the passage of time, well, to be accurate, in the mid- 1970s, fortunes and employment opportunities being what they were and are, I launched a career as a self-employed, free-lance writer, and never looked backward, never returned to "un-self-employment."  (Well, maybe once, in the mid-90s!... for approximately 5 months!) 

In the mid-1990s, on the edge of "robust middle age," and not quite on the threshold of "GeezerHood," my father -- with whom I had always (not) enjoyed a contentious relationship, was beset by two forms of cancer -- one of which eventually claimed his life -- his condition further challenged by worsening dementia.  It fell to my older sister and me, with the indispensable help of my wife, SweetHeart, to become my father's principal caregivers.  His condition, his hospice care, lasted for nearly two full years.  Following his death, I felt compelled to write about the experience.

It started, at least in my mind, as a probable short story, but soon morphed into a full-length book, a "relationships story fused with a memoir" -- And Good Night to All the Beautiful Young Women...  My book was read and edited by professional, published authors and editors who encouraged me to do my best to see it published.  I sent a great many query letters to literary agents, two of whom contacted me, interested in representation.  The first ultimately backed away, being more focused on handling "medical memoir."  The second was truly interested in the story, had promised we'd have a professional relationship, but sadly died before an author-agent representation could be forged.  

The world of publishing being what it is today, an opinion shared by many fellow writers, both published and struggling, memoirs are difficult at best to attract an agent, and much of what we read and see on bookshelves and in book shops by recognized authors, are...   well, so many of us wonder how in the hell they ever landed a publisher.   Sour grapes and envy, perhaps, but true in any case!

Eventually, I opted for self-publishing at the urging of family, friends, colleagues and critics.  I've had the good fortune to be favorably reviewed by many readers imbued with intelligence, professionalism and skill, including other writers, published authors and even a professional, career-long geriatrics caregiver.  It has been, to use a tired phrase, a most gratifying "journey
A brilliant young chap lounging in Jamaica, I'm reliably
told, perusing a superb volume.  He wrote a 5-Star Review!
of discovery."  Readers I'd never met praised And Good Night...  for its humor -- my father was a gifted comedian, humorist and storyteller -- its sensitivity and its revelations of elder caregiving methodology and coping mechanisms. 


I decided to write his piece of shameless self-promotion as a means of giving and perhaps achieving some measure of empathy with others similarly bitten by the same bug, those of us who love to write, pursued almost ceaselessly by words and ideas demanding to be given voice.  Whether we scribble for our own amusement or belong to writers' groups and clubs, or hope someday to land a contract, we are, I think, a kindred group of the hopelessly obsessed.  

I now have three books in print, the aforementioned And Good Night..., Memoirs of a Geezer and An Awful, Beautiful Day...  Or, Me and My Chicken Pox!, the latter a sibling-produced and illustrated children's book.  

And Good Night...  is available via amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, booksamillion.com and Powells.com.  The other two published books are also available through amazon.com.  Maybe we could share!!  You buy my book, and if you're in print, I'll buy yours.  We'll likely never get rich from our passion, but the joy is in the creation of fine literature, the creative process itself!  Right??  Hell yes, right!!  


Humbly Submitted 06-05-19 -- Joel K.

    

                 



          

   

      

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

The Bean that Salvages Morning... Its Coveted Rewards!

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth 
to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!


This Episode:     The Bean that Salvages Morning...  Its Coveted Rewards!


For many humans, those who regard early morning rising as an agony and a curse, heading off to clock in to one or another form of drudgery...  meaning work...  a cup of coffee is or can be a form of adrenaline.  Maybe a necessity, like an injection of life-saving medicine.  A magic potion that jump starts the brain and possibly the heart as well.

For me, my fondness for coffee began sometime in the early 1970s, in Seattle, Washington, when certain now-famous coffee purveyors set up shop in Pike Place Market, one in particular, perhaps needless to add.  Several other coffee houses followed, some better than others in terms of flavor and variety of recipes and concoctions, some lavishly decorated with artistic designs.

In my GeezerHood, my fondness for good coffee has grown into a kind of obsession, as if one addiction has supplanted another...  alcohol for java beans...  and that sweet sense of resurrection sends happiness coursing through the intricate roadmap of arteries to its destination brain! 

Perhaps I should elucidate!  I really like good coffee!!  Currently, SweetHeart and I have two favorite coffee destinations:  Colectivo and Stone Creek, the former either Prospect or Oakland or Lakeside, the latter on Downer and Park.  Naturally we've enjoyed other locations -- including a few in Madison.  I mean, we're explorers...  adventurous to a fault!!   

Sadly, I don't have as much time as I'd like to be a coffee house character these days, as the necessity to earn a living interferes with my social calendar, my love for the bean.  When we do have a moment to lounge and sip the juice of the gorgeous brown elixir, we note that
there is and should be no expectation of privacy in a coffee house.  I overhear young people overusing the word "like" as they discuss boy and girl friends, jobs, varied relationships, parties, hangovers, school, books, hair, lip rouge, fashion, piercings, hair....

Older habitués talk about politics, lots of political stuff, relationships, marriages and divorce, books, careers, social engagements, theatre, opera, children and the challenges that children bring to themselves and their parents, grandchildren... politics.  The holders of public offices that they can and cannot stomach...  "How in the name of all that's sacred did that idiot get elected..."  
Topics of that nature.

The other aspect of, "There's no expectation of privacy in a coffee house..." is something that annoys the hell out of those of us who are "regulars."  Certain patrons tend to stand way back from the coffee clerks' counter, that is, back from the patron currently at the counter, as if in a
There are many outstanding coffee purveyors in
Milwaukee.  Visit Phoenix, for example, on
Fond du Lac Ave. just west of 35th Street!!
healthcare facility, like a hospital registration counter, or a bank!!  I mean, what the hell...  "Is the guy in front of you ordering a caramel machiavelli infused with opium or ecstasy?  Move up, for f-ing sake...  This aint no doctor's office!!  You can actually overhear someone ordering a double-dip latte with a shot of non-fat raspberry syrup, calotropis,  chia seed extract and figwort!!  Everyone know it's not a secret code or a nefarious contract...!!"  (Or is it...  I may have to pay greater attention...??!!)  



Nevermind...  Back to the bean and the coveted rewards it provides.  In my / our long-standing patronage of Colectivo, for example, I've managed to amass 1,000,000 rewards points, probably worth approximately $900.00 in coffee beverages and bags of beans.  Lately, I dropped down to something just fewer than 900,000 points, owing to the children's insistence that "you have to start spending those points!..."  But I'll get the balance back to more than a million!  I's a mission, one I do not take lightly!  


My children have been battling over who gets the coffee card in the will!!  I ask them not to speak of my point balance so loudly as I fear some scofflaw or assassin might overhear, and conspire to bop me in the head and make off with my card!!!  "I mean to say, children, it's worth a small ransom!  I must swear all of you to absolute secrecy!!  Whisper of it among yourselves if you must, however...  If you do not heed my warning, I shall cash in my points and make off to an island with my beans!!"  (In the words of Clouseau: "...That got them thinking...   eh Hercule!") 

Let us give thanks and praise to Ethiopian goat herd, Kaldi who, it is written, first discovered the potential of the BELOVED BEAN.  Kaldi, according to "Legend," discovered coffee after noticing that after eating the berries from a certain tree, his goats became so energized that they roamed the night without sleep!  (That last part's a bit hard to swallow -- if you'll forgive the expression...  I find that I can sleep soundly in almost any circumstance, except after hearing certain politicians speak!!  Thank you...)  

[Special Note of Dedication and Gratitude:    With profound thanks to Beloved Daughter, Bethie, who suggested that a brief treatise on coffee, favorite houses of imbibing and certain rewards for purchasing and consuming great quantities of the stuff, might be an interesting (the word "interesting" is intended merely editorially, based on reactions and opinions of the multitude!) addition to one's canon of Geezer Writings, thus encouraging this edition.  With great praise, Amor and Abrazos to the aforementioned dedicatee, and sincere thanks to potential readers...  the perpetrator remains your humble if not entirely obedient servant...]


Humbly Submitted, 05-08-19 -- Joel K.



          



   

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

The Beer Bottle that Disabled a Mexican Police Vehicle!

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth 
to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!


This Episode:       The Beer Bottle that Disabled a Mexican Police Car!


There are times when, I suppose, one tends to sit quietly and reflect upon things, specific, noteworthy things.  It may be a preoccupation or a proclivity of those of us who can view life from the elevation of GeezerHood, looking back or down upon one's own rich tapestry of life in general.  


Many years and many adventures and mis-adventures ago -- long before GeezerHood occupied my mind and body -- I was a newly enlisted member of the US Armed Services.  Following basic training, I was assigned to a tech or training school in west - central Texas, approximately 150 miles from the Mexican border village of Ciudad Acuna.

(Acuna has a "tilde" about the "n"...  giving it a pronunciation such as "señor" in Spanish.  As such, it is pronounced something like "A-coon-ya," accent on the second syllable!  Thought we should make this clear for our vast reading public!)

Military chums and I would frequently visit that fine little community in Mexico at weekends when we had no other duties commanding our attention.  It was, at the time, an exotic destination, complete with great food, music, cheap beer, more dangerously spirited potables...  other attractions and diversions as well.

My usual routine:  I enjoyed an initial visit to "Ma Crosby's" (at least that's the name I remember...  might be wrong!...) It was, maybe still is, a great-looking restaurant designed in classic Spanish or Mexican hacienda style architecture.  It had different levels! They served excellent and authentic Mexican foodstuffs.  Then we'd venture to the less elegant part of the town where drunkenness and other vices prevailed!  I won't burden the reading public with further lurid details...

Upon leaving Ciudad Acuna, on a particular occasion, one of my traveling companions insisted that all so-called contraband had to be discarded for fear of Mexican police intervention, possibly arrest.  I was skeptical, but decided "discretion... " you know the phrase...  I had an empty or near-empty beer bottle in my sturdy 1950 Hudson that I bought for $50.00 and eventually sold for $50.00 just prior to leaving the US for an overseas assignment.  

(On one occasion, my good friend and I were driving along near San Angelo, Texas prior to "going to town."  It was a very cold, wintry day.  We opened a full bottle of frozen beer that subsequently sprayed the windscreen with frozen beer, obscuring our
vision.  We hit a tree that did far more damage to the tree than to the durable 1950 Hudson!!!)  

Apologies for the brief digression!  Anyway, back to Acuna and the beer bottle.  I decided -- not very environmentally responsibly, I confess, but at the time I was quite young and rather irresponsible! -- to pitch the bottle from my hand-painted, light blue 1950 Hudson.  Through the now open driver-side window that I'd cranked down, my left arm and hand extended, I hurled the beer bottle over the top of the car hoping it
would land softly and inaudibly on the other side of the vehicle, into what I also hoped was soft mud, a pool of muck or a grassy expanse. (It was dark when we departed!!) This was prior to crossing the bridge over the Rio Grande River leading back into Texas and the United States.

Shortly following that toss of the fateful beer bottle, I heard a siren emanating from what was apparently a police vehicle.  It was a police vehicle.  I aimed the Hudson to the side of the road to await our fate!  I cranked down the window.  

"¡Has desactivado un vehículo oficial de la policía con tu botella de cerveza!  Eres un
borracho!," said the police person with his head in my window about an inch from my nose.  

"Powdered hand soap?" I queried, confused.




At the time, my knowledge of Mexican-Spanish was not so good.  "¡Ahora te arresto por la destrucción de propiedad policial y por tirar basura!" The beer bottle apparently was a kind of guided missile bomb that had the power to disable or destroy official vehicles!!

My gorgeous hand-painted Hudson was commandeered by the police, their policia coche having been "murdered" by the aforementioned beer bottle.  Somehow the siren still worked, however! An amazing thing!  I was instructed to drive the police persons along with my own fellow servicemen pals to the local Estación de policía! That phrase I understood. They instructed me how to get there via hand signals and bops in the head, indicating a la izquierda, a la derecha, derecho! ("Left turn, Right turn, Straight ahead... tu drunken gringo... y Cuidado!!")

Upon arrival at the estacion, I was placed into a jail cell with straw on the floor. There I spent a relatively uncomfortable night. The cell was never locked, but the presence of a heavily-mustacheioed and rather formidable looking policia officer would have deterred any attempt at escape!! My good friend, PT, kept me company, not inside the cell, but, as I recall, on a comfortable looking chair just outside my cage.  


At some point during the long night of incarceration, or in the early morning hours, a nice Mexican man magically appeared in the station. He both translated and ultimately effected my release from prison. He spoke fluent English. The man told me what the policeman had said, that my launch of the fated beer bottle had somehow broken the police car rendering it inoperable. Seems hard to believe, but that's what the police told him and what he translated in English to my companions and me.  

Surprised and obviously amused by the revelation, PT broke out of his silence, his deep baritone, like an explosive aria suddenly emanating from a clock radio alarm, seemed to shake the officers out of a collective trance. "This is embarrassing," he said. "You mean to say a police car that wouldn't run, probably pushed down a small hill, caught up to the motorized Hudson... such as the ancient Hudson is; miraculous it still runs...?!"  

My fingers wrapped around the jail cell bars, the classic pose of a scofflaw in a cage, eyes only half open and barely alert, I said, "Yeah, but they did have a working siren!" PT grinned and tried unsuccessfully not to chuckle. 

More of the translation revealed... One of the officers labeled me a drunkard! And a litterer
too! Can't say I was or should have been offended, as the characterization of my condition at the time was accurate. And, I was happy to have learned the correct Mexican word or phrase for "drunkard"!... "Borracho." It's a good word... wonderful... one I've gladly added to my Mexican-Spanish vocabulary!!  

The police persons, by the way, were kind and respectful overall, efficient and dutiful too, of course. But, too, they were somewhat put out by my destruction of the coche de policia! We discovered at some point in the proceedings that the nice man, the Mexican who translated into
English my various transgressions, was somehow attached to a Mexican-American consulate, or some such organization. I never found out precisely in what capacity, but it seemed he was a kind of liaison between Mexican authorities and misbehaving, drunken American GIs! It was enough that he was able to end my accommodation in the straw-matted jail cell. A great stroke of good fortune!!

I thanked the man profusely. I also thanked and apologized profusely to the good policemen. They did assess a hefty fine. PT and my other companions and I had to pool our remaining resources in order to be released from Mexico. Um... however, we had to plead with the nice police persons to return some of the fine money so that we could purchase gas for the Hudson in order to motor back to the base, thereby avoiding a charge of AWOL, possibly more incarceration!! Oh yeah, I think there may have been a toll as well to cross the Rio Grande. They grumbled a bit, the nice policemen did, but they grudgingly returned, not much, but a sufficient amount of the fine money! 

I feel it important to append the story, just in moderate fashion, that these days I've mended my ways. My beverage of choice is a brown pop of the diet, but caffeinated variety, with a slice of lime preferably. Mexican-American relations have rarely been so tested, and so amiably as in the case of the kamikaze beer bottle. I've returned to Mexico many times over the years of my GeezerHood, never however, and probably fortunately, back to the beautiful town of Ciudad Acuna. Perhaps some day, if I can find a 1950s Hudson, a proper map... and maybe if Ma Crosby's is still there too!! SweetHeart (dulce Corazon) y me amoramos el gente de Mexico!!


Humbly Submitted 04-17-19 -- Joel K.















  


Thursday, March 7, 2019

How Come my Grandkids Learn Stuff We Never Learned??!!... The Correct Interview Technique...!

Memoirs of a Geezer!

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth 
to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!


This Episode:     How Come my Grandkids Learn Stuff We Never Learned??!!...  And the Correct Interview Technique and How to Apply Same!


The other night, our sweet wonderful daughter and son-in-law invited us for dinner, followed by a new game they recently acquired.  The dinner was excellent, and the game was great fun.  
Afterward, our grandson showed us the artwork he accomplished during his first year in high school, and talked about the things he learned in his various science classes.  Our granddaughter performed her part in an upcoming school play, and read to us from stories she'd written.  

I admit I was astonished at their brilliance, and equally astonished by the breadth of their knowledge, and what they're being taught in today's "super schools."  Stuff no one would have bothered to impart to us in my generation.  I mean, in my feeble effort to discuss the origins of Planet Earth, the kids simply nodded their awareness of such information, and launched into dissertations of planetary and universe origins, along with nuggets of biology, pendulous vs. attached earlobes and other extraordinary gems of information.  "Holy shit," I wanted to exclaim, but didn't...

I mean, good gosh Buffalo Bob, I'm a full-fledged Geezer, aint I?  I know lots of stuff, don't I?  You know, the wisdom of age and the ages!!??  Thinking back to my own high school education, I learned Latin, for example!  Terribly useful, after all!!  Four years of it!  Doesn't that count for something?!  Anything??  And then I'm thinking, "Gee whiz, why couldn't I have wow'ed a potential employer with such wisdom...?

A Sample Interview:

"Good morning, Mr. Stouddelman.  I'm J. Ringworm Bottlestop, here to interview for the position you advertised.  I'm certain I'd be perfect...  Do you offer a six or a seven-figure salary, by the by?  Well never mind the crassness of fiduciary excrement.  Let me demonstrate my vast knowledge, my liberal education:  'Romani occiderunt Gallos' for example.  Or, how about, 'Omnia Gallus est dividium in tres partis'!  How about them apples, Mr. Stouddlemeyer!!??

"I beg your pardon...  I don't..."

"What's that?  You don't know what those important and useful phrases mean?  You don't 'capeesh' Latin, you silly, ignorant buffoon?!  I'm doing my damndest to impress as well as edify a person of your limited scope, Mr. Snozzelman.  Do I get the job, that is, the position...  the career opportunity? My liberal knowledge alone -- never mind algebra and stuff mathematical -- should qualify me for a big weekly paycheck!  Aina!!??"

"Well now, Mr. Corkscrew..."
Actually, I was thinking of something more This
Century!  But, 1916 is sort of classy!


"Mr. Bottlestop," the interviewee corrects!

"See here, Mr. Corkscrew, It seems you demonstrate no knowledge of corporate communications and marketing.  You've told me nothing about your qualifications for the position we seek to fill!  Have you anything to suggest about positioning our brand, for example, to our marketplace, to the purchasing public to which we seek to sell our fine product and services?  (Hic!  Where the hell's that booze bottle I keep in my desk drawer for emergencies??!!...)"

"Now listen here, you apparently empty-headed baboon, 'Barba tenus sapientes'!  And, 'Auribus teneo lupum,' you supercilious, fat-headed potential employer!  Have you learned nothing of value in your vapid and vacuous life??!!  'Caesar non supra grammaticos!' and a big, vigorous FIE in your silly mush, to boot!" 

"Ms. Pfinchley...  I say, Ms. Pfinchley, may we summon the next candidate please.  Good day, Mr. Corkscrew.  We'll be in touch...  Next, please!!"  

"Up yours, Mr. Snotlocker.  You don't deserve a personage of my particular brand of brilliance.  I know when I'm being ushered the hell out the door!  And a crap-ass day to you too!!  'Corporatum delenda est!'  Oh, um, by the by,  is a Cadillac company car part of the offer I can expect??..."

In the distant past, I tried in vain to use my vast knowledge of the Latin tongue to ingratiate myself to a potential employer.  I tend to wonder what the hell four years of Latin was worth, not to mention other aspects of my liberal education!  Why couldn't I have learned what kids today are learning.  You know, useful and marketable stuff!!  Science, Engineering, Brain Surgery...      

(Special Note of Dedication:   The perpetrator dedicates this blog posting to his Beloved Son-in-Law, Mr. T.K.M.  The "interview" portion is not intended to offend, but rather to amuse.  He and I would have enjoyed this type of interview process. In fact, both of us probably did so in the manner described herein...  Thus, we have here a partially truthful, perhaps, partially fictitious episode of empathy.  Thank you, TKM, for inspiring this, yet another silly but well-intentioned saga of lives well lived and memories of extravagant moments in the annals of seeking major executive placements!)


Humbly Submitted, 03-08-19 -- Joel K.









  

Monday, February 25, 2019

Whatever Happened to What's That Place, Whoz It, and Whachacallit...?

Memoirs of a Geezer!

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth 
to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!


This Episode:      Whatever Happened to What's That Place, Whoz It and Whachacallit..?


Where the heck's the Marine Bank?  I used to work in that building!  Is it gone?  What about my savings account?  (Maybe I never had one there!?)  And what about County Stadium?  I mean, I call and call, and no one answers!!  I want to purchase ducats for next season!!??

I guess it's all part of GeezerHood...  Longing for stuff and places familiar, things and locations we cherished. Goldmanns?  Is Goldmann's gone too??  I was gonna meet Ernie at the lunch counter for chicken fries and a pork cutlet...  maybe mashed spuds!!  

When I first got out of the military, I got a job as a VeriType operator, and had to buy a new suit from Goldmann's. Cost me maybe $26.00.  Oh, but I got caught in a rain storm getting off the Number 32 bus, and had to walk home.  When I arrived, the suit coulda fit maybe Donald Duck.  Oh well...  I still miss Goldmann's!  And I suppose no one uses a VeriType anymore!  And where do I get my $26.00 suits from, already!!??  No matter....  After about two weeks of VariTyper'ing, I burned my Donald Duck suit and took a job in road construction.  

Anyone seen Schuster's?  My Ma and them liked to shop by Schuster's!!  What's it now?  Lofts? A warehouse?  A bank, maybe a walk-in medical place?  We want it back!!  Oh, what the hell...  gone is gone!  Gimbels?    

Let's get back to County Stadium.  Oh...  Now it's Miller Park, is it?  I hear there's some insurance outfit wants to re-name even Miller Park!  What's it?  Scam Am Park or something?  Flam a-Damma-Ding-Dong Park?  I won't have it!!  I shall begin to refer to the stadium as "Effinger Park."  Maybe see if it'll catch on!!  I grew quite fond of Effinger Beer from Baraboo where Uncle Hackett allegedly regained his health drinking Effinger.  

Oh yeah!  Where the hell did they put Harry Brezhinski's tavern?  Used to be on Fratney and Hadley.  Where'd they put it?  People can't go around removing iconic saloons when one is expecting to stop in for a boomba and a shot of cheap whiskey!!  Something's gone terribly wrong, here!!  

And another thing!  I once had a  crummy but rustic office overlooking North Avenue, next to Farwell.  It also overlooked my favorite drug store and lunch counter...  What did they do with Oriental Drug??!  It's been 15, 20 places since then.  Multiple pizza parlors, and now a food court sort of thing!  Maybe they'll bring it back!?...  Oriental Drugs, I mean!

I suppose the Sport Bowl's gone too, what?  North Avenue and maybe 58th Street?  We used to watch Pat and Joey bowl there.  Although I sometimes complained about the bad carnauba wax they slathered on the alleys, I liked to sit at the bar on in the gallery drinking stubby bottles of Mueller Beer, or maybe shorty Pabst's.  (My own average was maybe 45...  Bowling, I mean!) Where do people go for bowling nowadays?  The Narrow Lane (no reference to the aforementioned bowling parlor, but close by for convenience...!) is also no longer in evidence on North Avenue!  A person turns around and everything familiar is gone!! 

Morry's on Prospect, the Koo Koo Club, Trail's End Lodge, George's Tap...  Meyer's Drug
Store and Lemon Phosphates...   Alright, already!  Maybe it's just GeezerHood and missing stuff, familiar addictions and places we liked to hang out!  Like Stoney Calhoun at that bar on 60th and North Avenue.  He played great country tunes, like Wildwood Flower, even though those were the only words in the whole song!  Oh well, the Oriental Theatre's still there.  The Downer too.  Oh yeah, and Zaffiro's!  We go there every year for our special holiday pizza fix.  It's the best.  Anyone seen or been to a "Ham 'n Egger" lately?


Sigh...  Guess it's the bane of those of us in the bosom of robust ("middle-plus-a-little") age.  We revel in former glories, allowing memories and thoughts of past pleasures and adventures to play like newsreels in the reverie of our imaginations.  Truth is, I like and embrace change.  Really!!!  But, no one says one can't float on the magic ship of recollection, sails unfurled, billowing...  

Hey!  Where did I park my '59 Oldsmobile with the moon hubcaps??!!  I better call somebody...  SweetHeart!!!...



Humbly Submitted, 02-26-19 -- Joel K.        





  





Thursday, January 17, 2019

The Fine Art of Fine Dining...!!??

Memoirs of a Geezer!

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth 
to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!


This Episode:             The Fine Art of Fine Dining...??


(Please Note:    As one advances into another level of consciousness, namely, "advancing maturity," one's tastes in cuisine -- dining establishments as well -- undergo a kind of metamorphosis, hence this dissertation on that specific topic!...  as follows...)


It devastates me to have to admit...   In my Geezerhood, I'm neither a gourmet nor a gourmand (probably never was either, even in my callow youth!).  SweetHeart insists I would savor styrofoam served under the guise of genuine beef, or any sort of ersatz stuff, like tofu or bean curd disguised as meaty dishes....   (Presented under a stainless serving platter?  Maybe on fine china??)  
These are identified as Tofu Tacos!

I will confess this, however, at this point in my life, if offered a choice of a large sack of pistachios or a similarly large portion of salted in the shell peanuts, vs. a fine steak or even chateaubriand, I'd choose the former, that is, the nuts!!  (What's that you said?  We are what we eat??!!...  Keep a civil tongue...!!)

There are some additional "however's" to this admission. On special occasions, such as SweetHeart's birthday or visits from beloved relatives and other dignitaries, we do venture to enjoy the culinary delights of fine local purveyors.  Examples:  Milwaukee Ale House has our favorite chicken pot pie, possibly in the entire hemisphere!  Oh yes, and their pot roast too!  

Traveling to the delightful environs of Kinnickinnic Avenue (the so-called "Heart of Bayview") in beautiful and often unheralded suburban Milwaukee, one might discover Cafe Corazon on the left (south side?) of that fabled and increasingly popular roadway, one suffused with fine restaurants, saloons and other attractions...  bowling, too, I believe! 
An image of Kinnickinnic Ave. We're
reliably told the word means "tobacco"
in a Native American dialect!

I haven't completely warmed to Tapas.  The other evening, our beautiful and talented daughter, Bethie, persuaded SweetHeart and me to plunge bravely into the unexplored territory of Tapas, paella too, I should add.  To me, the food was quite good, if a bit spare.  To SweetHeart, a different opinion.  

On balance, the restaurant was crowded and perhaps "understaffed."  In any case, ordering a couple of tapas at a time, and individually, spaced several minutes apart, is probably not a great idea for the ravenous!!  The paella, purportedly a 40-minute process for the kitchen, arrived in
Why is this image titled in French?  
an hour and a half.  


We were, however, treated to two desserts free of charge, a reward for enduring the overly long wait for each of the tapas and the slow-moving paella (that may have been cooked, packaged and exported directly from Spain while we waited -- eating buns and drinking beverages during said wait -- and then ferried to us aboard a lumbering commercial aircraft with one working propeller)!  (Oh, and the grandchildren both nearly fainted from hunger during our sojourn...  There was grumbling from more than just our table, I noted during my search for a restroom!!)

Moving on to other preferred dining establishments, I particularly enjoy a dish served by Simple Cafe.  It's a kind of breakfast hash affair, complete with glorious Brussel sprouts, adorned with turkey breast and assorted vegetables, topped -- like a crown, denoting a kind of royal feast -- by an egg, its golden orb staring upward, unblinking and majestic as a sunrise!  They have lots of other fine fare for the discerning diner...  breakfast and lunch only!

And then there's Benji's!  Quite possibly, Benji's serves the best breakfast fare in all of the metroplex, at least in this ranter's opinion.  The hash browns are superb.  I tend to ask the server to make them extra crispy.  I like burnt cookies too!  Oh, and the Hoppel Poppel.  You should try it at least once.  The Matzo Ball soup has healing properties!  The Hear-O Israel sandwich was featured on "Man vs. Food..."

Coffee Houses:   They serve food too, don't they?! SweetHeart and I have been devotees of Colectivo (formerly, Alterra) since approximately 1994.  We are fond of all of their coffees with the exception of Velo.  We've amassed more than a million points, at times, now down to more than 900,000.  But we're making a comeback?  They serve some fine sandwiches, and now offer a Bowl.  Stone creek has an excellent breakfast bowl, and the decaf coffee is very good.  There's a new location on Downer and Park.  We've noticed some deserters there, on occasion!  No
names!!  

I can't recall not being fond of various ethnic foods and the restaurants that serve them.  Two of my favorites are Indian -- Maharaja and Bollywood -- both on the east side of Milwaukee, WI, and both excellent.  Mango beef, chicken or port...  Jalfrazie...  naan...
roti...  samosa...  Taste, close you eyes and you're on the bank of the Ganges, sitar music floating along its waters, women in saris, singing while being rowed languorously in colorful vallams...   Something like that! 

More food and restaurant stuff, critiques and the like, perhaps to follow on a future date.  Maybe....  but...  

I'm getting hungry!!!...   "SweetHeart, do we have any nuts around here?..."       


Humbly Submitted 01-17-19 -- Joel K.