THE UBER BOOK... "Travels in the 'Dining Car' "...

 

Memoirs of a Geezer

  

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!

This Episode:       THE UBER BOOK...   (Working Title, now Correctly Entitled):

                                 Travels in the "Dining Car"...   (With an Appropriate Subtitle:)   

From Chapter One --
"Revelation"!

    Some few years ago, SweetHeart and I decided to take on a new career, a fresh if unexpected challenge in the annals of Geezerhood.  Not at all to pocket extra coinage for frivolous gambols and playthings, but owing to financial exigency.  I would not presume to suggest it hasn't been fun; we have each other's enjoyable company, and we listen to good books and often talk like truckers,  berating obnoxious fellow motorists as we ply our toothsome trade!

Yes, dear friends, readers and devotees, we became food delivery drivers back in 2017 (at least I think that's when it started!?...), and here in 2021, a year or so removed from the onset of the great "Damnpenic," we continue to deliver food products from a great variety of purveyors, restaurant "partners" of the parent company for which we labor so sedulously, mostly flawlessly...  Honest! 

"Talkin' Like Truckers"!

Getting Aboard...  Starting Out!

As one result of our endeavors -- now in our fifth (I think?!) year -- we thought it important to share our activities, our assigned tasks, with the masses, by telling the story of our adventures in print.  Our book is entitled...
Travels in the "Dining Car"...  (subtitle) The Adventures of Uber Eats Food Delivery Drivers! 

So who the hell cares, one might justifiably inquire of the authors, or to no one in particular, perhaps someone stumbling upon this bit of blog writing, sitting by oneself and exclaiming loudly to a vacuum of space!  

Who cares?!  Those who have been cast into the abyss of unemployment or underemployment, loss of income, ageism, redundancy, tossed onto the scrap heap of "downsizing" and "economic cut-backs."  All those damn euphemisms concocted by the rich in order to excuse themselves for acts of unspeakable litter -- otherwise known as what they consider"discarding human detritus."  Hurling their castoffs onto the mean streets of

Anxiety Dominated at
the Outset!

want, exploiting tragedy to rid themselves of the need to pay wages and salaries while stuffing more and more wealth into their own bulging bank accounts and mattresses.  Jerks!!  Unconscionable swine!!      

Getting back to the question (if you've forgotten the question -- it's, "Who Cares?"):  One need only be aware of the fairly newly minted "Gig Economy," in which so many of our fellow citizens find themselves...  yourselves...  ourselves!  (See paragraph above to determine if you qualify under the broad heading of "Gig Economy" or wholesale disenfranchisement!)

What to do?  Get angry, make a statement, protest in your own manner, write a book perhaps...

Ours is neither a grim complaint nor a diatribe, but rather a humorous, fun and funny dissertation on what it's like to embark on a wholly new career with modest compensation, unlike the professions of our illustrious pasts.  Sort of an amusing meditation on being launched, unwillingly, into the dark waters of the gig economy!  

Because of its delightful flavors, its both sweet and savory explorations of social and

"I'm Sending You Out
with Angels..."

cultural interactions with a huge variety of personality types, we think, nay, we know!...  Our tale will resonate...  It's empathetic.  People will love it!  All we need now is a literary agent who will don a bib sporting a silly graphic and simply tuck in!! 

As the word count piled up, 15 Chapters and an Appendix into the process, SweetHeart wisely suggested we include illustrations.  Thanks to eager and talented granddaughters, we can incorporate gorgeous, evocative and emotive depictions of the diverse feelings we experience as we discovered and now continue to plod on into economic travels, both unknown and startlingly new!

Would you like a teaser?  Of course you would.  Here's a brief passage from Chapter Fourteen, describing "Strange Delivery Instructions, etc....."  

"The Hunt"

       "...We enter the building. It’s really tall; it contains a great     many apartments. The key pad is an alphabetized conundrum that   requires the visitor to use an “A to Z” button. It lists only last names with first initials. The Uber Eats application lists only first names with last initials. We try to match the “F” family name to the first initial, the “M” for Muriel, needless to say. That almost never works. We spend way too much time trying to decipher the alpha-numeric keypad.

       Often, they don’t work at all. The one we’re staring at is no exception. We curse the architect and the person who or the contractor company that allegedly designed the “easy-to-use” alpha-numeric keypad feature. We stomp impatient feet and call them all bubbleheads, including the food recipient who failed to provide intelligible instructions, cursing vigorously all the while!..."

    A few of the brilliant illustrations are included herein, while most of the text, meaning the story itself, will have to be read by fans and devotees once the book has been published...  in one fashion or another...  I have a plan, sort of...  Please be patient, and thank you for your rapt attention to this brief, um...  well, I guess "introduction" is as good a descriptor as any!  Thank you again!  Stay safe, get vaccinated, and think seriously about telling your own stories, sharing them with others!  

(A Brief Note of Dedication and Gratitude:   Thank you, Lucy, and thank you, PhiPhi for your beautiful artwork, for your talent, your generosity and your diligence.  This writing is dedicated to you, beautiful and extraordinary young women, priceless treasures in the lives of authors and tireless workers who know too well who and what are truly of greatest value!)