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Memoirs of a  Geezer! Reflections and Observations  -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth  ...

Showing posts with label Food delivery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Food delivery. Show all posts

Thursday, October 13, 2022

The Joys and Agonies of Writing...

 

Memoirs of a Geezer

  
Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!


This Episode:        

The Joys and Agonies of Writing...

E.g.     "Making a U-Turn in the Gig Economy"

Not my Magnum Opus, perhaps, but, in what in my humble opinion is a creditable, almost noble effort. I started the book somewhat coincidentally with our new, if necessary career path…. Food Delivery Drivers. A joint effort, a partnership, a husband and wife venture, an adventure.

Making a U-Turn in the Gig Economy is a new work, published officially in April of 2022, printed by a superb organization called The Bindery, a creation owing to the genius of Zach. The cover, front and back, spine too, of course, was designed by Diana of “BearBear.” The entire process was accomplished in an outstanding fashion with professionalism and exquisite attention to detail.

The “joy” we can attribute to the fact that it has been accomplished and is now available in print, with gorgeous illustrations by a much-loved collaborator, 16 or so of them by Lucy. One for each chapter, and an extra or two depicting specific episodes in a brilliant career! I editorialize, just a bit. One illustration was made by a younger contributor, Phi Phi. We are grateful beyond our poor ability to express gratitude for those beautiful enhancements to our literary effort.

Many if not most of the ideas expressed in print were created by someone I lovingly call SweetHeart. She is my life partner, and my most cherished collaborator, the better half of our duo, one I would be a bit boastful, I suppose, in labeling “dynamic.” Or maybe I go a bit far…

The book has a beginning, of course, in which I describe our journey from a quite serious financial downturn to a kind of new beginning. We accepted our circumstances with a degree of dignity and aplomb — at least I believe we did, false modesty and self praise aside — though our self perceptions struggled with the idea of “classism.” One is never too old or too important to learn and absorb new life lessons.

As the story wanders into a kind of fresh reality, we find joy, and agonies, along the process. The hunt is a crucible, difficult and at times frustrating and seemingly hopeless. In the end we find light, a passageway. Acceptance! We meet extraordinary people whose generosity and kindness we found to be remarkable, and continue to do so, in spite of economic status, social and societal constructs.

I like to think of our new career circumstance as adventure. We became and are still becoming pioneers of a sort, like dusty, care-worn and exhausted denizens of the conestoga parade, plowing new ground to find ownership, independence and a proud new way of living. Perhaps I go a trifle overboard, like a mariner in storm-tossed seas, rescued by a lifeline, a fortuitous turn of events.

But I don’t want to give away too much. The book is available for purchase, for those who are able to identify, to learn, to be edified perhaps, to consider their own perilous journeys and events in the “Time of the Virus.” Caught in rip tides of struggle, trying valiantly to swim to safety, to survive life’s unexpected upheavals. Earthquakes and forest fires and mud slides, yet pulling themselves, ourselves, up out of the abyss, surviving, moving on, re-building. 

The great lesson learned is, can and should be a shared experience. Write down your own stories, not merely of survival, but of family members and friends, even your own trials and adventures. We all have fascinating tales to tell, populated often by fascinating personalities. Your and our stories don’t have to reach a wide audience, only our own compact and personal orbits, often our only modest limits…. Or perhaps your’s will resonate so profoundly with others as to generate a huge wave, a tidal surge, swallowing and consuming the minds and interests of a multitude. The point is to try, to begin. 

If anyone who may happen to wander into these paragraphs wishes to do so, contact the perpetrator, that’s me, of course. I would be delighted to help, to share, perhaps to counsel if such counsel is desired. Thank you and good sailing! 

Wednesday, March 23, 2022

Crazy App... Lazy App...

 

Memoirs of a Geezer

  
Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!


This Episode:         Crazy App...  Lazy App...



At the speed of something, not light, or sound, possibly the "speed of ideas" coursing through a creative mind, and then pausing at a Eureka 
millisecond-moment,  technology tends to confound, confuse and dent a Geezer's brain.  The speed of it, the collision of techno marvels onto an aging psyche...  It's all too bewildering.

Consider, for example, the smartphone, its profusion of "applications, or "Apps," in the vernacular of today's wunderkinds and their endless inventions that in a blink supplant those of others mere microseconds past!  

"Wait a second," I muse.  "What was that wondrous thing I saw in this morning's Chronicle?  What??!!...  Whoa!!??  It's already obsolete??!!...   (Returning to the primary subject matter!)...  Those of us in the tightening vise of GeezerHood who continue to labor on, denizens, more like captives of the "Gig Economy," we have to re-train our brains of necessity, in ongoing efforts to grab hold of and absorb those new, if fleeting flashes of technology.  Otherwise, and only if financial security permits, we may as well retire to the recliner and the hypnotic pulse of the large, flat screen and its relentless pump-streams of pap and pulp.  

The elastic brain!  Do those of us of a certain age continue to enjoy a mind that can in fact function, absorb and decipher the codes of modern society?  Well, yes... maybe, some of us, possibly...  maybe...  When SweetHeart and I ply our current trade as exemplary food delivery drivers, we are compelled to use and understand "Apps."  So what's the problem?...

We're on a delivery with a sense of urgency and purpose.  The app rudely interrupts our trains of thought, or maybe a pleasant conversation.  "In the upcoming right lane, turn left onto Dinglebalm Street..."  

"But," SweetHeart wisely notes, "we're already on the correct route.  The delivery's on this very street, about...  lemme check the map...  a mile and a half from here.  Be Quiet...  stop talking, 'Nellie.' "

 Or the app has us taking an absurdly circuitous route, with the map sometimes acquiescing foolishly, and we know the right way to drive to our destination.  "Just keep going straight," SweetHeart states assuredly.  "Then turn right on Clementine Avenue.  It's the fourth house from the corner, on the left..."  

Sometimes the app insists, "Continue on McFarley for three-quarters of a mile, using all three lanes..."  

"I mean," I say in an attempt at comic interpretation, "is it appropriate for us to weave
in and out of all three lanes of traffic, so that no one but us can use them?  But that seems an obvious invitation to a traffic citation.  Do you see any police cars, SweetHeart?  If
not, I'll start deviating wildly..."

At times the app gets inexplicably lazy!  The mechanical direction-shrieking voice of "Noxious Nellie" refuses to speak to us...  shuts down completely.  It's maddening.  We tend to rely upon "her" for proper, or comic, directions to our destinations.  I opine that Nellie is on a coffee break or off to the ladies' lounge or has possibly swooned over an impossibly handsome artificial intelligence of the male variety.   "Hello!  Nellie!...  Hello!"

SweetHeart walks to the door of a recipient's home.  A foot or so removed from the person who ordered, she hands a sack of food to the customer.  She looks down at the app.  It says, "You are too far away from the delivery."

"If I were any closer I'd be on the customer's toes, our noses making direct contact!  Are you nuts, app?!  I couldn't possibly get any closer!"

Here's a good one:   SweetHeart leaves a sack of East Indian cuisine on a customer's porch.  The instructions clearly state, "Please leave the food at the door."  The app chimes in, "Remember to leave the food in a safe place."  SweetHeart looks around at a busy and well-populated neighborhood.  The food is highly visible on the porch.

"How?" SweetHeart wisely asks.  She rings a bell if there is one, and knocks loudly on the door.  No one responds.  She's done the best she can do.  "What else can I do?" she asks of me, her partner, or rhetorically.  If payment and a tip appear eventually on the
app, we know she's done everything correctly, short of house-breaking or throwing the sack onto a roof and then leaving a crude "treasure map" as to its whereabouts!

Picture-Taking as evidence of a proper delivery:   Rules demand, on many occasions, that SweetHeart take a picture of the food sack in situ, when instructions ask that the delivery be left at the door.  She takes a photograph using her phone and its terribly clever app.  Nothing happens.  "Please take a picture," the app demands after she's taken the picture.  She cannot verify the delivery unless the app acknowledges that she's taken the picture.  "Please take a picture," the app repeats demandingly.  SweetHeart takes a picture of the sidewalk, a dead worm, a flight of wooden steps leading to the porch.  The app responds, allowing SweetHeart to slide the "Complete Delivery" bar to the right!

"In other late-breaking crazy-app news," the imaginary anchor announcer shouts, sounding nearly hysterical and slightly demented!... 
  
App:     "Do you wish to contact the customer?"
SweetHeart:    "I've just delivered the food personally to the recipient customer.  We chatted amiably about weather, porches and the quality of local Thai take-away..."  

App:     "Be alert!  Look both ways before crossing busy intersections!"
SweetHeart:    "What...  You think I'm 6 years old and barely conscious?!"

App:    "Make a U-Turn..."
SweetHeart:    "Don't be silly, Nellie.  I'm already at the customer's door!"

App:    "Doodledly Doot...   Doodeldy Doot..." (New pickup / delivery summons from
global headquarters) -- Pickup from Sheldon's Authentic Real Napolese Pizza Pie Parlor...  Location at 5th and LaughHam, on your left...  

SweetHeart:    (Upon arriving at the app-stated and apparent location!)  "This isn't right!  There's a chain link fence on our left on which we see an acre of litter blown up against it!  Beyond the fence is the Freeway.  We can't pickup a pizza on the Freeway."  (She telephones the pizza parlor, and is correctly informed the location is on South 27th Street just south of Howard Avenue...   miles away from the Freeway address!)   The pizza proprietors are heard consumed in mirth as she rings off... 

One supposes, or perhaps, one confesses, it isn't nice to ridicule a person.  But the app is an inanimate "someone," and Nellie is a mechanical entity, not a real person.  Therefore, a bit of innocent ridicule is entirely appropriate.  One hopes readers can empathize with this non-tribute to Apps and their sometimes...  um, maybe quite often...  absurdities, ridiculous pronouncements and erroneous instructions.  Thank you for your kind attention to this bit of nonsense.  Comments, questions, complaints, (minor, verbal) hostilities and rebuttals always welcome!  

Humbly Submitted 03-24-2022 -- by Joel K.

  










  

    



 

    

 

 







        

   

Saturday, June 26, 2021

THE UBER BOOK... "Travels in the 'Dining Car' "...

 

Memoirs of a Geezer

  
Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!


This Episode:       THE UBER BOOK...   (Working Title, now Correctly Entitled):
                                 Travels in the "Dining Car"...   (With an Appropriate Subtitle:)   


From Chapter One --
"Revelation"!
    Some few years ago, SweetHeart and I decided to take on a new career, a fresh if unexpected challenge in the annals of Geezerhood.  Not at all to pocket extra coinage for frivolous gambols and playthings, but owing to financial exigency.  I would not presume to suggest it hasn't been fun; we have each other's enjoyable company, and we listen to good books and often talk like truckers,  berating obnoxious fellow motorists as we ply our toothsome trade!

Yes, dear friends, readers and devotees, we became food delivery drivers back in 2017 (at least I think that's when it started!?...), and here in 2021, a year or so removed from the onset of the great "Damnpenic," we continue to deliver food products from a great variety of purveyors, restaurant "partners" of the parent company for which we labor so sedulously, mostly flawlessly...  Honest! 
"Talkin' Like Truckers"!

Getting Aboard...  Starting Out!
As one result of our endeavors -- now in our fifth (I think?!) year -- we thought it important to share our activities, our assigned tasks, with the masses, by telling the story of our adventures in print.  Our book is entitled...
Travels in the "Dining Car"...  (subtitle) The Adventures of Uber Eats Food Delivery Drivers!
 

So who the hell cares, one might justifiably inquire of the authors, or to no one in particular, perhaps someone stumbling upon this bit of blog writing, sitting by oneself and exclaiming loudly to a vacuum of space!  

Who cares?!  Those who have been cast into the abyss of unemployment or underemployment, loss of income, ageism, redundancy, tossed onto the scrap heap of "downsizing" and "economic cut-backs."  All those damn euphemisms concocted by the rich in order to excuse themselves for acts of unspeakable litter -- otherwise known as what they consider"discarding human detritus."  Hurling their castoffs onto the mean streets of
Anxiety Dominated at
the Outset!
want, exploiting tragedy to rid themselves of the need to pay wages and salaries while stuffing more and more wealth into their own bulging bank accounts and mattresses.  Jerks!!  Unconscionable swine!!      

Getting back to the question (if you've forgotten the question -- it's, "Who Cares?"):  One need only be aware of the fairly newly minted "Gig Economy," in which so many of our fellow citizens find themselves...  yourselves...  ourselves!  (See paragraph above to determine if you qualify under the broad heading of "Gig Economy" or wholesale disenfranchisement!)

What to do?  Get angry, make a statement, protest in your own manner, write a book perhaps...

Ours is neither a grim complaint nor a diatribe, but rather a humorous, fun and funny dissertation on what it's like to embark on a wholly new career with modest compensation, unlike the professions of our illustrious pasts.  Sort of an amusing meditation on being launched, unwillingly, into the dark waters of the gig economy!  

Because of its delightful flavors, its both sweet and savory explorations of social and
"I'm Sending You Out
with Angels..."
cultural interactions with a huge variety of personality types, we think, nay, we know!...  Our tale will resonate...  It's empathetic.  People will love it!  All we need now is a literary agent who will don a bib sporting a silly graphic and simply tuck in!! 

As the word count piled up, 15 Chapters and an Appendix into the process, SweetHeart wisely suggested we include illustrations.  Thanks to eager and talented granddaughters, we can incorporate gorgeous, evocative and emotive depictions of the diverse feelings we experience as we discovered and now continue to plod on into economic travels, both unknown and startlingly new!

Would you like a teaser?  Of course you would.  Here's a brief passage from Chapter Fourteen, describing "Strange Delivery Instructions, etc....."  

"The Hunt"
       "...We enter the building. It’s really tall; it contains a great     many apartments. The key pad is an alphabetized conundrum that   requires the visitor to use an “A to Z” button. It lists only last names with first initials. The Uber Eats application lists only first names with last initials. We try to match the “F” family name to the first initial, the “M” for Muriel, needless to say. That almost never works. We spend way too much time trying to decipher the alpha-numeric keypad.
       Often, they don’t work at all. The one we’re staring at is no exception. We curse the architect and the person who or the contractor company that allegedly designed the “easy-to-use” alpha-numeric keypad feature. We stomp impatient feet and call them all bubbleheads, including the food recipient who failed to provide intelligible instructions, cursing vigorously all the while!..."

    A few of the brilliant illustrations are included herein, while most of the text, meaning the story itself, will have to be read by fans and devotees once the book has been published...  in one fashion or another...  I have a plan, sort of...  Please be patient, and thank you for your rapt attention to this brief, um...  well, I guess "introduction" is as good a descriptor as any!  Thank you again!  Stay safe, get vaccinated, and think seriously about telling your own stories, sharing them with others!  



(A Brief Note of Dedication and Gratitude:   Thank you, Lucy, and thank you, PhiPhi for your beautiful artwork, for your talent, your generosity and your diligence.  This writing is dedicated to you, beautiful and extraordinary young women, priceless treasures in the lives of authors and tireless workers who know too well who and what are truly of greatest value!) 






   




Thursday, August 22, 2019

Nibbles to the Masses... or, Adventures in Food Delivery!

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth 
to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!


This Episode:      Nibbles to the Masses...  or, the Adventures of Food Delivery Professionals!


It began a year ago April.  They are now some 15 months into the process.  For those of us in "robust advancing age," we discover there are diminishing career opportunities for the greying.  Happily, there are organizations that will employ anyone who's breathing, slightly, and can produce necessary credentials, such as a valid driving license, for example!


This is a story about an intrepid couple who, joyously, accepted their fate, and secured employment in the restaurant food collection and delivery profession.  The experience has been suffused with adventure.   And they have learned, along the road, so to speak, a great many new and wonderful lessons about life and the fascinating individuals who populate our urban landscapes!

Some examples...  Delivering a "Bento Box" style meal to an Asian individual, the male component of the delivery duo stated confidently to the recipient:  "Wing Wei Woo?!  Your order sir!"  The man's name was Zhang Kao Ding.  The deliverer meant no disrespect; he merely thought he was uttering the recipient's correct name, trying valiantly to greet his customer with warmth and a kind of wisdom, certain he had the correct name in his memory bank!  The recipient looked confused,  but not the least offended.  He put it down to occidental ignorance!  

The couple delivers a great many food orders to residents in inner-city neighborhoods.  On one memorable occasion, the couple picked up two orders of fine cuisine, one a burger and fries from "Lard Man Lenny's" food truck, the second from a fine Asian restaurant.  The former was packed in a brown bag, dotted with grease splotches, the latter in a pristine white plastic sack.  The couple mixed up the orders, delivering the Asian food to a young couple.  The nice man who was handed the brown bag, immediately telephoned the delivery people, demanding his correct portion of far more expensive food stuffs. 



Undaunted, the intrepid duo, given a total of 15 minutes to correct the delivery error -- the restaurant was closing in those 15 minutes! -- sped crazily back to the restaurant, probably some 15 minutes away from the south side Milwaukee home of the recipient.   They plunked down $35.00 for the replacement food, and sped back to the originally intended recipient.  The trip was worth approximately $25.00 or so (time and mileage plus a generous payment "boost" available that particular evening).  The customer, now appeased by the duo's commitment to delivery excellence, not to mention admission of their error, their culpability, presented them a $10.00 tip!!  Proving, once again, the value of integrity and superior customer service!!

Here's another example...  Honesty is a Golden Policy!  The couple delivered a fine food package to an African-American woman, not greasy fast stuff!  She handed the male deliverer $65.00.  "No, no..." the man protested, "You've already paid for your food on the App (meaning the application on a SmartPhone)!  I can't take that money."  (The man likes to term it an "Ape," amusingly, he thinks!)  

The woman said, "Well then, here's $40.00...  your tip."

"Good gosh," said the man, "That's too much, that's too generous!"  

"I admire and thank you for you honesty," the woman replied.  "Here, you must take this."  She handed him $25.00.  She would brook no further argument.  He thanked her profusely and went on his way, with his wife and partner, of course, to the next summons, the next pickup and delivery!

Over the months of their new career choice, the pair has made many remarkable discoveries.
 Among them, in inner-city neighborhoods, the residents tend to receive their food packages and
generously tip the delivery drivers.  Not always the same in wealthy neighborhoods, where privilege seems to override the need for gratitude and courtesy.  There are of course exceptions.  Additionally, in the inner city, there's a wonderful sense of community.  People sit on their porches with friends, neighbors and family members, chatting amiably, often laughing, sharing both the day's trials and its triumphs.

The two, the "Dynamic Duo" (with apologies to Batperson and BirdBoy, and the people who created various comic books!), do not always earn as much currency as they'd like, even as in the not-too-distant past, but they do tend to make their "nut," or enough to sustain life and limb each working week...  sort of!!   The earnings downturn is due in large measure to the stinginess of the parent conglomerate.  Perhaps the aforementioned will loosen its hold on its coffers as summer surrenders once again to the icy bite of Winter!  


In the meantime, given the rampant ageism that infects our society, the pair feels fortunate to have a means of earning a few shekels, or geld, florins, dinars, pesos, pounds, francs, krones, birrs...  you know, MONEY!!  And they plan to soldier on until they are no longer termed "fiduciary imbeciles," or some such offensive name calling, by the monied set!!  The two plan to continue their quest toward amassing great sums of retirement income!!  Of course, death might well intervene before that happens...   Sigh!!  

p.s.  The "Sigh" is merely an empathetic gesture on behalf of, in support of and in honor of, too, the subjects of this piece!!  Thank You, and may all of your Delivery Take Away orders be fresh...  or Hot, or cold, maybe, if that's how you ordered the stuff??...!   

Please Note:    Other practitioners in the delivery trades are welcome to comment or share their own experiences.  Those who drive and deliver stuff to earn their livings deserve to be heard, not to mention, deserve respect and admiration.  Damn Right!!  











     

Thursday, June 7, 2018

A Brilliant New Career...

Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth 
to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!


This Episode:             Adventures in the "Dining Car"...   (Act Two!) 
The Players:            Undine and Ulmer
Title of Act Two:      Embarking upon a Brilliant Career as "Goober Comestibles" 
                               (GC) Pick-Up and Delivery Transportation Professionals! 

A Stage Play (sort of...)!

The Settings:    A Vehicle Bumping along a Lumpy Roadway, Somewhere in the Midwest, at  various food purveying establishments and at the residences of varied food consuming recipients!)

Date and Time:    (scene One) Early Afternoon; (scene Two) Evening...

Scene One    (Character names have been modified in order to obscure true identities!!)

Undine:   "The whole darn business made me anxious!  First they want my Social Security
number, then our bank routing and checking account numbers!  I mean, what if it was a crazy scam to rob us of our worldly goods, all our possessions and paltry bank accounts?!"

Ulmer:    "Well, yeah, a bit scary, maybe, but in the end it all turned out alright, aina?  I mean, they have to have that information to set us up as legitimate Goober Comestibles delivery guys!  Right?"

Undine:    "Yeah, I guess, but it scared me silly at the beginning.  Didn't it bother you?"

Ulmer:    "Yeah, I admit it.  I was a bit trepidatious at first.  But then I had my panic attack and some gas pains and everything turned out fine...  Oh, and a couple of spasms from my hiatal hernia...!"  

Undine:    "Oh, wait, we have a ding!  Head for Pizza Palacio on Doobish Street!"  (The duo drives down lumpy, pot-holed streets, eventually arriving at Pizza Palacio!).  "We're here.  Make a U-turn to pick me up in front of the joint.  I'll go in and get the stuff, the pizza, or whatever the Goober guy ordered."  (She emerges with a large pizza pie and a paper sack 
containing garlic bread, we think, maybe salad...!)

Ulmer:    "Where do we go...  Where we headed??"

Undine:    "Be patient.  I have to get the routing directions on my app.  This is all done by smartphone and apps, you know.  I don't have everything in my head, and it isn't written on the pizza sack!"  (Undine places the large pizza pie in an insulated cooler sack, the paper sack on the floor to her right!).  Turn right and then go straight for a while.  I'll tell you when to turn...  Wait!  Where's Dibble Street?  Do we have a Dibble Street in this metroplex? I don't think the pizza people gave us proper directions!"

Ulmer:    "Hey!  There's an average man on the street!  Excuse me, um...  pardon me!  Average
Man, Do you know where Dibble Street is?"

Average Man on the Street:    "Yeah.  You're just a few blocks away...  It may or may not end at the intersection of Boswell and Binkley...  I think!  Just keep driving.  You'll find it..."  (Eventually, they find the destination, about 20 minutes later!)

Undine:    (At the high-rise apartment of the pizza recipient Goober guy who ordered the large pie!)  "Excuse me ma'am (to the concierge)...  Do you know the apartment number of George X.?  We have an incorrect apartment number!"  (Finally, with exemplary detection, they find the correct apartment!)

The Goober Guy Pizza Recipient:   (Opens door following loud knocking and bell ringing)  "Where were you.  This pie must be cold by now, for pity sake.  I'm not happy..."  

Undine:   "You could re-heat it.  Do you have a conventional oven?  Convection, maybe? A microwave?  A toaster oven?...  A box of matches?"  (Recipient slams door in the faces of Undine and Ulmer!  They ride down the elevator and jauntily bounce down a few steps to the waiting vehicle, its emergency flashers blinking importantly!!)

Ulmer:   "Hey!  Another ding!  We're really rollin'...  Where to?"


Undine:   "Um...  Wait, it's thinking...  Ah!  Head for the 'Great Wall of Fong' on Muggle Street...      (Pause to pick up order!) OK, now we've picked up the order.  Head for the University District, State Avenue just north of 18th Street.  The guy who ordered is, um, lemme see...   Zhing Woo W."

Ulmer:   "Here, let me pop out of the car and deliver the food into the hands of...  What's his name again...   (Hands a package of Emperor's ToFu and Chicken Lo Bong to the customer!)  Here you go...  Um, Wing Wei Woo??!"  (Customer looks at Ulmer as if considering him a Sinophobic buffoon!  Undine is convulsed with laughter and has to close the car window and turn away from the scene...). 

Undine:   "His name is Zhing Woo W., you bubblehead!  (Still laughing!) Isn't life grand?! Just a fine inaugural outing in the new but ongoing adventures of Goober Comestibles professionals!...  Maybe we should call ourselves, 'The Great Goober Gastronomic Team'! "


Ulmer:   "You know what I always say:  'Give the client what she or he wants, and put smiles on the faces of all and sundry... ' Is that a ding?  Where to, oh Chief delivery purveyor??!!..."

Undine:   "Hmmm...  Looks like a Mexican restaurant...  Las Uvas, or something like that...  Don't move!  Wait 'till Millie gives us directions!"  (The computerized voice of the GPS 'Goober' directions giver announces, 'Turn left, then turn right, then turn left, then make a U-turn, then arrive on your right, or, your left...' "  Undine and Ulmer call her Monotone Millie, sometimes Mechanical Mildred!) 

Ulmer:   "I'm getting hungry!  When can we eat our wrapped sandwiches?  Are there pickles...?"


(Special Note:   The perpetrator dedicates this writing to Bethie in honor of her milestone birthday, and to let her know how much he loves and honors her.  She is brave, strong, smart as the dickens and beautiful, an exemplary mother, sister and daughter, and he, the perpetrator, is privileged and always delighted to have her in his life!  Happy Birthday!!)


-- Humbly Submitted, 06-29-18 -- Joel K.