Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth
to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!
This Episode: Adventures in the "Dining Car"... (Act Two!)
The Players: Undine and Ulmer
Title of Act Two: Embarking upon a Brilliant Career as "Goober Comestibles"
(GC) Pick-Up and Delivery Transportation Professionals!
A Stage Play (sort of...)!
The Settings: A Vehicle Bumping along a Lumpy Roadway, Somewhere in the Midwest, at various food purveying establishments and at the residences of varied food consuming recipients!)
Date and Time: (scene One) Early Afternoon; (scene Two) Evening...
Scene One (Character names have been modified in order to obscure true identities!!)
Undine: "The whole darn business made me anxious! First they want my Social Security
number, then our bank routing and checking account numbers! I mean, what if it was a crazy scam to rob us of our worldly goods, all our possessions and paltry bank accounts?!"
Ulmer: "Well, yeah, a bit scary, maybe, but in the end it all turned out alright, aina? I mean, they have to have that information to set us up as legitimate Goober Comestibles delivery guys! Right?"
Undine: "Yeah, I guess, but it scared me silly at the beginning. Didn't it bother you?"
Ulmer: "Yeah, I admit it. I was a bit trepidatious at first. But then I had my panic attack and some gas pains and everything turned out fine... Oh, and a couple of spasms from my hiatal hernia...!"
Undine: "Oh, wait, we have a ding! Head for Pizza Palacio on Doobish Street!" (The duo drives down lumpy, pot-holed streets, eventually arriving at Pizza Palacio!). "We're here. Make a U-turn to pick me up in front of the joint. I'll go in and get the stuff, the pizza, or whatever the Goober guy ordered." (She emerges with a large pizza pie and a paper sack
containing garlic bread, we think, maybe salad...!)
Ulmer: "Where do we go... Where we headed??"
Undine: "Be patient. I have to get the routing directions on my app. This is all done by smartphone and apps, you know. I don't have everything in my head, and it isn't written on the pizza sack!" (Undine places the large pizza pie in an insulated cooler sack, the paper sack on the floor to her right!). Turn right and then go straight for a while. I'll tell you when to turn... Wait! Where's Dibble Street? Do we have a Dibble Street in this metroplex? I don't think the pizza people gave us proper directions!"
Ulmer: "Hey! There's an average man on the street! Excuse me, um... pardon me! Average
Man, Do you know where Dibble Street is?"
Average Man on the Street: "Yeah. You're just a few blocks away... It may or may not end at the intersection of Boswell and Binkley... I think! Just keep driving. You'll find it..." (Eventually, they find the destination, about 20 minutes later!)
Undine: (At the high-rise apartment of the pizza recipient Goober guy who ordered the large pie!) "Excuse me ma'am (to the concierge)... Do you know the apartment number of George X.? We have an incorrect apartment number!" (Finally, with exemplary detection, they find the correct apartment!)
The Goober Guy Pizza Recipient: (Opens door following loud knocking and bell ringing) "Where were you. This pie must be cold by now, for pity sake. I'm not happy..."
Undine: "You could re-heat it. Do you have a conventional oven? Convection, maybe? A microwave? A toaster oven?... A box of matches?" (Recipient slams door in the faces of Undine and Ulmer! They ride down the elevator and jauntily bounce down a few steps to the waiting vehicle, its emergency flashers blinking importantly!!)
Ulmer: "Hey! Another ding! We're really rollin'... Where to?"
Undine: "Um... Wait, it's thinking... Ah! Head for the 'Great Wall of Fong' on Muggle Street... (Pause to pick up order!) OK, now we've picked up the order. Head for the University District, State Avenue just north of 18th Street. The guy who ordered is, um, lemme see... Zhing Woo W."
Ulmer: "Here, let me pop out of the car and deliver the food into the hands of... What's his name again... (Hands a package of Emperor's ToFu and Chicken Lo Bong to the customer!) Here you go... Um, Wing Wei Woo??!" (Customer looks at Ulmer as if considering him a Sinophobic buffoon! Undine is convulsed with laughter and has to close the car window and turn away from the scene...).
Undine: "His name is Zhing Woo W., you bubblehead! (Still laughing!) Isn't life grand?! Just a fine inaugural outing in the new but ongoing adventures of Goober Comestibles professionals!... Maybe we should call ourselves, 'The Great Goober Gastronomic Team'! "
Ulmer: "You know what I always say: 'Give the client what she or he wants, and put smiles on the faces of all and sundry... ' Is that a ding? Where to, oh Chief delivery purveyor??!!..."
Undine: "Hmmm... Looks like a Mexican restaurant... Las Uvas, or something like that... Don't move! Wait 'till Millie gives us directions!" (The computerized voice of the GPS 'Goober' directions giver announces, 'Turn left, then turn right, then turn left, then make a U-turn, then arrive on your right, or, your left...' " Undine and Ulmer call her Monotone Millie, sometimes Mechanical Mildred!)
Ulmer: "I'm getting hungry! When can we eat our wrapped sandwiches? Are there pickles...?"
(Special Note: The perpetrator dedicates this writing to Bethie in honor of her milestone birthday, and to let her know how much he loves and honors her. She is brave, strong, smart as the dickens and beautiful, an exemplary mother, sister and daughter, and he, the perpetrator, is privileged and always delighted to have her in his life! Happy Birthday!!)
The Players: Undine and Ulmer
Title of Act Two: Embarking upon a Brilliant Career as "Goober Comestibles"
(GC) Pick-Up and Delivery Transportation Professionals!
A Stage Play (sort of...)!
The Settings: A Vehicle Bumping along a Lumpy Roadway, Somewhere in the Midwest, at various food purveying establishments and at the residences of varied food consuming recipients!)
Date and Time: (scene One) Early Afternoon; (scene Two) Evening...
Scene One (Character names have been modified in order to obscure true identities!!)
Undine: "The whole darn business made me anxious! First they want my Social Security
Ulmer: "Well, yeah, a bit scary, maybe, but in the end it all turned out alright, aina? I mean, they have to have that information to set us up as legitimate Goober Comestibles delivery guys! Right?"
Undine: "Yeah, I guess, but it scared me silly at the beginning. Didn't it bother you?"
Ulmer: "Yeah, I admit it. I was a bit trepidatious at first. But then I had my panic attack and some gas pains and everything turned out fine... Oh, and a couple of spasms from my hiatal hernia...!"
Undine: "Oh, wait, we have a ding! Head for Pizza Palacio on Doobish Street!" (The duo drives down lumpy, pot-holed streets, eventually arriving at Pizza Palacio!). "We're here. Make a U-turn to pick me up in front of the joint. I'll go in and get the stuff, the pizza, or whatever the Goober guy ordered." (She emerges with a large pizza pie and a paper sack
Ulmer: "Where do we go... Where we headed??"
Undine: "Be patient. I have to get the routing directions on my app. This is all done by smartphone and apps, you know. I don't have everything in my head, and it isn't written on the pizza sack!" (Undine places the large pizza pie in an insulated cooler sack, the paper sack on the floor to her right!). Turn right and then go straight for a while. I'll tell you when to turn... Wait! Where's Dibble Street? Do we have a Dibble Street in this metroplex? I don't think the pizza people gave us proper directions!"
Ulmer: "Hey! There's an average man on the street! Excuse me, um... pardon me! Average
Average Man on the Street: "Yeah. You're just a few blocks away... It may or may not end at the intersection of Boswell and Binkley... I think! Just keep driving. You'll find it..." (Eventually, they find the destination, about 20 minutes later!)
Undine: (At the high-rise apartment of the pizza recipient Goober guy who ordered the large pie!) "Excuse me ma'am (to the concierge)... Do you know the apartment number of George X.? We have an incorrect apartment number!" (Finally, with exemplary detection, they find the correct apartment!)
The Goober Guy Pizza Recipient: (Opens door following loud knocking and bell ringing) "Where were you. This pie must be cold by now, for pity sake. I'm not happy..."
Undine: "You could re-heat it. Do you have a conventional oven? Convection, maybe? A microwave? A toaster oven?... A box of matches?" (Recipient slams door in the faces of Undine and Ulmer! They ride down the elevator and jauntily bounce down a few steps to the waiting vehicle, its emergency flashers blinking importantly!!)
Ulmer: "Hey! Another ding! We're really rollin'... Where to?"
Ulmer: "Here, let me pop out of the car and deliver the food into the hands of... What's his name again... (Hands a package of Emperor's ToFu and Chicken Lo Bong to the customer!) Here you go... Um, Wing Wei Woo??!" (Customer looks at Ulmer as if considering him a Sinophobic buffoon! Undine is convulsed with laughter and has to close the car window and turn away from the scene...).
Undine: "His name is Zhing Woo W., you bubblehead! (Still laughing!) Isn't life grand?! Just a fine inaugural outing in the new but ongoing adventures of Goober Comestibles professionals!... Maybe we should call ourselves, 'The Great Goober Gastronomic Team'! "
Undine: "Hmmm... Looks like a Mexican restaurant... Las Uvas, or something like that... Don't move! Wait 'till Millie gives us directions!" (The computerized voice of the GPS 'Goober' directions giver announces, 'Turn left, then turn right, then turn left, then make a U-turn, then arrive on your right, or, your left...' " Undine and Ulmer call her Monotone Millie, sometimes Mechanical Mildred!)
Ulmer: "I'm getting hungry! When can we eat our wrapped sandwiches? Are there pickles...?"
(Special Note: The perpetrator dedicates this writing to Bethie in honor of her milestone birthday, and to let her know how much he loves and honors her. She is brave, strong, smart as the dickens and beautiful, an exemplary mother, sister and daughter, and he, the perpetrator, is privileged and always delighted to have her in his life! Happy Birthday!!)
-- Humbly Submitted, 06-29-18 -- Joel K.
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