Memoirs of a Geezer!
Reflections and Observations -- A Bright Passage from the Fantasies of Youth
to Illuminations of Advanced Maturity!
This Episode: Fashion Backward... (or) A Losing Battle with Stuff Sartorial!
Over the seas of time, my beloved lifelong partner, best friend, wisest constructive critic and dearest companion -- my wife, "Sweetheart" -- has tried her best to "garanimalize" me. That is, to change me into someone (whom she tries valiantly to make...) aware of conflicting patterns and inoffensive color combinations (with apologies to the people whose apparel matching system helped children dress themselves!).
In the beginning was the worst, and the worst was made flash(y)... (apologies, this time, to biblical scholars and purists). When I began to court my wife -- that was sometime in the early 70's when fashion had all but disappeared from the planet -- I had little or no imagination regarding apparel choices. For work, I wore the same suit of clothing every Monday, every Tuesday, etc. Sweetheart regarded as somewhat inoffensive only my "Friday ensemble." It consisted of a sort of herring bone light colored jacket, brown trousers, a white shirt and a "nubby" brown tie, all of it reasonably well color matched by me (for reasons I cannot fathom!!).
When the time came to meet her family, the entire family, she scheduled a dinner event for a Friday evening, perhaps believing, or hoping, that I would be suitably attired! When I arrived at her front door, she exclaimed, "What happened to your Friday suit?!" (You see, my white shirt and nubby brown tie were soiled.)
"Is there something wrong with this ensemble?" I asked, innocently. I was wearing the standard, Friday jacket and slacks, but my shirt was a collision of off-white, apricot and powder blue. The tie was brown with gold lions stalking up and down its length. Poor Sweetheart! She groaned aloud. (I think the tie actually snarled at her!)
After a long moment during which she eyed me up and down with a certain degree of disdain... "Oh well," she finally said, punctuated by a heavy sigh, "You may as well come in and meet my sisters-in-law and some of my cousins." As our courtship continued and our relationship grew stronger, more committed, on the very first of my birthdays during that era, she bought me a most attractive suit of clothes, an entire outfit -- jacket, slacks, shirt and tie -- all of it magnificently matched and coordinated! From that point onward, I was transformed!
I think it's only right to add some historical perspective. My father wore shirts of plaid and trousers of stripes. He
dressed for practicality and comfort. My mother often turned him around, insisting she and he return to his closet to re-dress her grievances! When my father entered my sister's home, and her care, much later in his life, his apparel choices were similarly overruled, and his daily ensembles nicely put together by a caring daughter. save.
One of my own daughters and her husband prefer a burn barrel for designer clothing. Their apparel choices are eclectic, with a predilection for thrift shops. On balance, though, I must say they are both always nicely turned out. Our other daughter and her husband will even run half-marathons in designer labels and name-brand ensembles! We're all individuals, with individualized tastes, styles and budgetary concerns ...or lack thereof...
In terms of what to wear, I look back with some nostalgic longing to my days in the military. One could hardly mismatch a uniform; that is, unless one wished to court trouble via an "Article 15" or worse. ( I knew a GI who walked around the base wearing nothing but his service tie and cap. He wanted out of the military in the worst way. He succeeded, receiving the worst kind of discharge for his effort!) As for "mufti," I would merely look at the clothing choices of my fellow GI's and try to emulate their examples, sometimes with effective results, more often failing to comprehend fashion, choosing motley instead! One of my pals in the military, Dennis V., was always magnificently attired during off-duty time. I marveled at how he did it on military pay! I concluded he was either a thief or independently wealthy.
Suddenly, It Was Now Again!
Today, happily, nicely ensconced in GeezerHood, I have Sweetheart, my personal fashion consultant. Most often, therefore, I leave the confines of my own home in outfits that will embarrass neither she nor me, nor my children. At this point in their lives, I don't think the grandchildren would care one way or the other. It won't be long, however... Hmmm... Will they ultimately choose the fashion plate or Melmac?
I applaud those who seem to possess a natural flair for dressing themselves stylishly, whether from the best shops or from the bin. As for me, I'll never "have a clue," and will thus follow the lead of "She with the Good Eye." Fortunately, I haven't had to shop for and select my own clothing choices for more than 40 years, so I seem to be on a safe sartorial pathway!
I often wonder if those of us who despise malls and retail fashion stores and "cute little shoppes" come to our positions genetically. Or is it a learned aversion? But look here... If you want me, I'll be in the backyard burning fashion clothing catalogs that arrive unwanted in the mails. Gee, could it be that the burn barrel is my fashion statement of choice!?
Over the seas of time, my beloved lifelong partner, best friend, wisest constructive critic and dearest companion -- my wife, "Sweetheart" -- has tried her best to "garanimalize" me. That is, to change me into someone (whom she tries valiantly to make...) aware of conflicting patterns and inoffensive color combinations (with apologies to the people whose apparel matching system helped children dress themselves!).
 |
| High Fashion and Color Coordination at its Zenith! A Salute to "Dressing for Success"! |
In the beginning was the worst, and the worst was made flash(y)... (apologies, this time, to biblical scholars and purists). When I began to court my wife -- that was sometime in the early 70's when fashion had all but disappeared from the planet -- I had little or no imagination regarding apparel choices. For work, I wore the same suit of clothing every Monday, every Tuesday, etc. Sweetheart regarded as somewhat inoffensive only my "Friday ensemble." It consisted of a sort of herring bone light colored jacket, brown trousers, a white shirt and a "nubby" brown tie, all of it reasonably well color matched by me (for reasons I cannot fathom!!).
When the time came to meet her family, the entire family, she scheduled a dinner event for a Friday evening, perhaps believing, or hoping, that I would be suitably attired! When I arrived at her front door, she exclaimed, "What happened to your Friday suit?!" (You see, my white shirt and nubby brown tie were soiled.)
 |
| The "Lions" Tie must have been inadvertently discarded, but illustrations are always desirable! And Sweetheart is fond of froggies! |
"Is there something wrong with this ensemble?" I asked, innocently. I was wearing the standard, Friday jacket and slacks, but my shirt was a collision of off-white, apricot and powder blue. The tie was brown with gold lions stalking up and down its length. Poor Sweetheart! She groaned aloud. (I think the tie actually snarled at her!)
After a long moment during which she eyed me up and down with a certain degree of disdain... "Oh well," she finally said, punctuated by a heavy sigh, "You may as well come in and meet my sisters-in-law and some of my cousins." As our courtship continued and our relationship grew stronger, more committed, on the very first of my birthdays during that era, she bought me a most attractive suit of clothes, an entire outfit -- jacket, slacks, shirt and tie -- all of it magnificently matched and coordinated! From that point onward, I was transformed!
I think it's only right to add some historical perspective. My father wore shirts of plaid and trousers of stripes. He
 |
| Above is a fairly accurate depiction of the plaid and striped patterns my father often chose! |
One of my own daughters and her husband prefer a burn barrel for designer clothing. Their apparel choices are eclectic, with a predilection for thrift shops. On balance, though, I must say they are both always nicely turned out. Our other daughter and her husband will even run half-marathons in designer labels and name-brand ensembles! We're all individuals, with individualized tastes, styles and budgetary concerns ...or lack thereof...
 |
| The above is an illustration of a "Sergeant / General" in full military regalia! ...um... just in case the concept of military "uniform" is unfamiliar to some! |
In terms of what to wear, I look back with some nostalgic longing to my days in the military. One could hardly mismatch a uniform; that is, unless one wished to court trouble via an "Article 15" or worse. ( I knew a GI who walked around the base wearing nothing but his service tie and cap. He wanted out of the military in the worst way. He succeeded, receiving the worst kind of discharge for his effort!) As for "mufti," I would merely look at the clothing choices of my fellow GI's and try to emulate their examples, sometimes with effective results, more often failing to comprehend fashion, choosing motley instead! One of my pals in the military, Dennis V., was always magnificently attired during off-duty time. I marveled at how he did it on military pay! I concluded he was either a thief or independently wealthy.
Suddenly, It Was Now Again!
 |
| An illustrative effort to capture one's intense dislike of the flood of fashion catalogs that arrive, unwanted, in one's mail. (See para. at right please!) |
I applaud those who seem to possess a natural flair for dressing themselves stylishly, whether from the best shops or from the bin. As for me, I'll never "have a clue," and will thus follow the lead of "She with the Good Eye." Fortunately, I haven't had to shop for and select my own clothing choices for more than 40 years, so I seem to be on a safe sartorial pathway!
I often wonder if those of us who despise malls and retail fashion stores and "cute little shoppes" come to our positions genetically. Or is it a learned aversion? But look here... If you want me, I'll be in the backyard burning fashion clothing catalogs that arrive unwanted in the mails. Gee, could it be that the burn barrel is my fashion statement of choice!?
Humbly Submitted 03-18-15 -- Joel K.
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